AUTISM in GIRLS: 5 Social Anxiety Traits (YOU need to know)

AUTISM in GIRLS: 5 Social Anxiety Traits (YOU need to know)

in this video we’ll be looking at autism
in girls on specifically five social anxiety trait coming up okay I’m Dan I
have Asperger syndrome ADHD OCD dyslexia I make weekly videos on this type of
content so if you’re new around here and wanna learn more consider subscribing
hey guys I’m Charl and I have a diagnosis of autism and today I’m gonna be sharing
some personal experience of my social anxiety traits leave us a comment in the
comment section below let us know if you’re on the spectrum or if your like a
person who has a loved one or whatever on the spectrum and you’re looking at this
video to kind of gain some healp and experience for them
hey guys welcome back to The Aspie World I’m super awesome to actually have a
guest here today this is the first collab I’ve done this year I’ve never
had another influencer so Charl is actually quite well known for her MTV
show on just tattoo of us which I’ll leave some links down below and some
stuff on the screen here if you want to see that also she runs a really cool
Instagram account but importantly she’s launching a YouTube channel so I’ll be
leaving the link that in the description below that you all have to go down and
subscribe and show some love because we need more females on the spectrum on
this platform so super cool we wanted to do a video for awhile and one of the
things we wanted to do was talk about autism and girls and different things so
we decided to talk about social anxiety since it’s such a huge issue or it’s a
big well talked about topic but I feel like it’s not as talked about for girls
you know I feel like it’s always male-dominated as always males kind of
doing this than the other so in this video we’re literally talking about
Charls perspective perspective of those traits and her personal insight and
things like that so I think this can be really valuable to all of you guys so
we’re gonna go through five different things and just really sum it up by the
end of it and talk about our discussion and if you wanna jump in at any single
time and add anything in put it in the comment section below and give this
video a thumbs up if you’re enjoying this type of content so number one is
masking so Charl do you want to take us through a little bit about masking and
some of your personal insight an experaince with that so one of the things that
affects me is masking and this is something that I’d say most women do on
the spectrum actually and it’s very really common trait and basically it’s
hiding your traits and pretending to be a version of yourself that it’s socially
acceptable masking and hiding my traits so that the other person can’t suspect
anything odd or weird or anything and what I tend to do is I copy and mimic
other people’s behavior so that I can represent a socially acceptable version
of myself would you say that this is you pick up masking from watching like TV
and film because this is an interesting topic like would you say that you
learned social kind of masking from like mimicking people on movies it’s basically
from use of being rejected socially and so you take characteristics from other
people you’re adopting other people’s behavior and characteristics and
applying it to your own it’s basically just lying a putting on a front you so you’re
pretending to be somebody else you’re pretending to be something that is
socially acceptable so that you can connect with someone else but then
you’re actually hiding your true selves what kind of effect is what kind of
effect is there’s actually masking have on you as a person so if you go through
your day and you’re masking obviously you’re not being comfortable in your own
skin and you’re not being you what repercussions can that have well those
had massive repercussions on me especially as an adult because over the
years it’s something that I’ve done so long that you start to lose sense of
self and this actually led to me having identity problems because I was hiding
my traits so often and putting on this front where I was somebody completely
different just to fit in that I didn’t know who actually was that’s fascinating
because like I think one of the main factors for why females have been not as
diagnosed as males is because masking is apparent and they say oh well you know
that they’re fine here to find their or whatever you know it’s it’s weird that
it’s now what like masking was a thing that we didn’t even know existed but is
now that we’re able to put an actual name to it and say this thing quite
fascinating it’s a bit of a tricky thing as well and I know that there’s
not a lot out there on women on the spectrum especially so that’s why I’m
doing my bit to raise awareness so the reason it’s a tricky thing is because
it’s a massive trait but it also goes against being diagnosed so if you’re
actively seeking a diagnosis then you’re so good at hiding it that sometimes not
even a professional can diagnose you because you can’t see it so good
especially as an adult as well on the spectrum you get so used to hiding your
traits that you are now this brilliant actress that you didn’t even know and
another thing about masking is that like you develop coping or like workaround
strategies right so this is this is something I found fascinating so in
terms of like a lot of people say oh I go undiagnosed for X amount of years and
they say oh I didn’t know you had an issue with that but then they make like
workaround coping mechanisms for instance like if you were you didn’t
like okay you don’t want to talk you get anxiety on the phone to order
pizza yeah anytime we had to be anywhere with you wanna order pizza you’d always
say oh can you do for me I just gotta go to the toilet or I’m just
gonna go to do something simple things like that would to pick up the phone and I can’t
make conversation on the phone I can’t do anything that requires an immediate
response because I find that it’s far too much pressure so I let somebody else do
it or for example if I have to pay for an item
I’ll let somebody else do it you know it’s little things yeah yeah definitely
I think that it just fascinates me and I think that this is one of the reasons
why we’re having a huge gap in the amount of females to males being actually
diagnosed but I think that gap is smaller getting smaller small now and
so having the things like the National Autistic Society have a new program and
training program for autism in girls but it’s really good and people like
yourself doing more advocacy on it it’s gonna be awesome okay so number two is selective mutism
do you wonna’ talk to us a bit about selective mutism
yeah selective mutism it’s something that affects me mainly when I’m in
groups of people so one to one speaking to someone I’m pretty good I’m actually
pretty great especially if we’ve got something in common to talk about
otherwise not really this is actually something that led to
my diagnosis because while I was away filming from MTV I went out for meal as a
group with some of the other artists and I literally became stuck I was trapped
inside of myself and it got to a point where I was so overwhelmed by everything
in my in my environment and socially especially that I physically couldn’t
speak and it’s hard because when you’re trying to explain this a server because
you have to be in that situation to experience it and there’s nobody can
test it really so how often do you say you experience kind of selective mutism
and what type of situations would you experience it and probably like some
bizarre reason it tends to be more around people my own age I’m not sure if
that’s because I said there were people our age maybe I think it’s because if
maybe you feel like expect it to be a certain way around people your age the
act and behave a certain way yeah and acting a certain way being that
kind of a typical person when you’re not typical person so you might feel like
you know I can’t contribute to this situation and so you just kind of climb
up for something I don’t know I’m just trying to figure out but it’s
fascinating I’ve experienced it and it wasn’t it said it to me work what’s apping
talking about doing this video and talk about different thingsoh selective
mutism and I’ve experienced this when I go to Naomi’s mum’s house and we
have like I do at family dinners or family dinners just like she’ll say Dan you
don’t speak like you don’t why do you engage why you not speaking and
stuff I’m like I have no idea like I did to be social and I have to make
conversation and then you’re applying even more pressure on your side yeah and
it’s just boils down to okay this is never gonna happen I guess like I always
have this really intense fear of being judged on anything that I say so then
it’s it the point where it’s so bad and I’ve
clammed up so much that anything I do actually say like anything since I can
actually go give myself a little pat on the back I mean I can appreciate that
and you know it’s difficult thing to overcome so I mean maybe you’re noticing
this in say you’re a parent watching this or a guardian or or a loved one or
whether and you noticing these kind of traits and somebody it’s quite
interesting if you come across this for the first time then it may be possible
that they have a special condition because I find this is very valuable okay so number three is making small
talk and this one I kind of brings to me as well I know a lot about kind of like
how it’s difficult to make small talk when having expression condition because
that is like it’s super difficult so you’re talking about your of the
experience of being a female especially sure I mean like a lot of people would
probably doubt this and a lot of people that have met me personally and that’s
because I mean I I will make the effort to trap to them but what I’m actually
doing is running off a script of stuff I’ve learnt to say over the years that
is socially acceptable and I’m just repeating myself basically in every
conversation with every single person because I when that script runs out what
do I see now yeah I can totally I can totally relate and like I have a few
things that I talk about one oh I’ll talk about I see other people and then
when they’re not interested I’m like okay well I’ll talk about politics cuz I
know a lot of politics right and if thier not interested in politics I’m kind of all out
you know there’s so if someone said to me let’s talk about cars I’m like there’s no way
there’s like no way conversations going to go into it life finding those
situations are like the panic situations i’m like uh oh what am I gonna do now it’s
because like I mean it’s a common autistic trait that people with autism
tend to speak about themselves and speak about their interests and then you’ve
also got that in fact that we you have to actively try to pretend to be
interested in that other person when actually you don’t care you don’t care
okay and it’s not that you’re not a caring person it’s just that you you’re
very strict on your interests what were you enjoy talking about it’s really very
very interesting and I love kind of having conversations with other autistic
individuals because you can relate them so much and it’s interesting because I
can go through life just thinking things yourself and you talk somebody like huh
yeah right because we can talk about the things because we have that kind of
common ground but it’s interesting when you yeah you with like typical people
who want to talk about like cars and work and going out it’s like so weird
and especially like I mean I don’t have typical interest the girls have for
example having my nails done or no idea what to talk it’s totally true like so I
don’t drink alcohol in like a lot of guys like love drinking beer and all
this stuff so if I me like Nomi’s family members or they talk about beer and
drinking like how completely I feel yeah I have no idea what’s going on you know
like it just it’s really difficult I think it’s probably more difficult to
find for people to find common ground with me yeah yeah they must think I mean
they must be able to sense when I’m not really interested only yes well look I
mean it’s it like you said it’s a very typical trip of autism and I feel that
like if you’re experiencing this yourself and you can relate to this then
this is definitely a video for you and leave a comment down below as well oh your
experiences I love to talk to people about the different types of experiences
they’re having okay so number four is fear of socialising and this is this is
a huge one I mean socializing for anybody on the spectrum is a very
difficult situation especially the people you don’t know and if it’s a lot
of people so let me know how do you experience that fear so slightly well I
mean it’s not something that other people could notice because like I said
earlier hiding traits and this applies to this one massively because I’m
basically actually get like a lump in my throat and I and I feel absolute dread
when I know that I have to be social with someone or speak to someone on a
personal level and it’s not because they’re not interesting people it’s just
because I generally am extremely intimidated by people when it when I
figure to meet them as well so yeah it just builds avoidance issues as well
do you feel like it kind of built up a frustration or anger so like if you’re
forced to be in social situations you also have a fear of it and the masking
comes into play does that have a kickback like oh my goodness you know
because because with me because it’s different males in spectrum I just I
just don’t you know from this situation where people expect something of you I
we don’t really technically how about masking ability I guess because you know
the female and male brains do work slightly differently in that respect I
think it’s because like in general women are more socially aware right yeah so I
mean it would really matter to me what other people thought so sometimes you’re
like okay I need to go through this and I need to do this and again the masking
comes into play but I’m wondering like does that have a kick back so you do the
you know you masking you go force yourself to a fearful situation of socializing
then like later on at home did you have a kick in the head so anything that
happens like any any social event that happens during the day I will go home
and I will really sit and think about it and I’ll think like well I shouldn’t
have said that I should have said it differently or perhaps did I offend that
person and and and then it just it just makes you so scared of just socializing
yeah yeah yeah I need you trying to do yeah because you just think that I’m
useless at this and I’m gonna fail so then it just instills an absolute fear
in you and I don’t know what it is I don’t know it me so scared to connect
with other people I know I think it’s it’s because the unpredictability of
people because you don’t have people gonna react to anything and I think that
that’s the fear is that I don’t know how they’re gonna react and you know I just
think me ages to figure this out I’m working on this channel and working with
professionals is how I’ve come to a conclusion about so I think is I think
the intense fear as well comes from being socially rejected over the years
no you could you rejected so often you can use that fear you get
and then it gets a point where I mean I wasn’t treated very well in school I was
quite bullied in school for being the quiet wouldn’t believe it or not and
then you’re even more scared of speaking because it was a bigger thing yeah
that’s crazy but like and that is I think you know school is like probably
the worst place like typical mainstream school kids can be mean as heck so this
doesn’t help especially can females who are trying the best to market because
again females they’re so clever in the way that you know you know female with
autism is like you said they’re trying to do all these things and that the guys
are just like lazy typically and not respect they don’t try those things
because I have no idea why that’s how it works and I just find it it’s crazy
because police should be so horrible especially someone who’s already trying
to harvest you know that’s definitely you when you have to make the active
effort as one you said I mean that’s people on a spectrum we do actively have
to make more of an effort than you have really person because it does it
requires a lot yeah it takes way more effort it’s like do you think going like
this distorted picture thing up is like way more effort involved for some of the
autism it would be for a typical person because all that interaction the life
some of the stimuli the people socializing but then cuffing the money
that the worrying the the anxiety of just being outside like it’s all of
those things out there but I think it’s just yeah it’s crazy so number five is isolating or
isolation talk about how you isolate yourself and what I mean so I mean this
is probably a follow-on from the fear of socializing because what happens is you
get such a big fear of socializing that you become socially avoidant and this
can lead to other mental illnesses as well like depression for example but
sometimes you know what I can be at home when I can be really I can feel really
low in myself because my social life has gone out the window because I’ve just
I’ve just not got the energy to be able to invest in that so busy during the day
and then what happens is I avoid every one I start to become depressed yeah
because it’s kinda like a catchment is you don’t want to go out because you’re
feeling kind of that fear of like you know the sometimes it’s definitely you
feel like it’s gonna take more effort but then when you don’t go out and doing
those things you become a bit more recluse and then it gets worse and then
it kind of plays in your mind in you and then your moods starts to dip and then
you’re just in a downward spiral also another thing as well like I mean I for
example I can my friends right and I have an amazing
time out of my friends will have a great laugh and then I will come home and just
cry and it’s because like like you said really
all those environmental factors everything yeah everything that’s you
all the information your brain is trying to process at one time
it gets to a point where do you want to see me you’re just gonna have to come to
my yeah I’ll deal with the fact that text messages are the way to go like I
interviewed a guy I was doing a collaboration video with a guy called
Kevin Chapman who is a really big youtuber an autism advocate on the on
the platform and Kevin’s got a son called Andy who has autism and he said
to me every day and he came every Monday and he would come home from school
and just throw up like like every Monday he’d come on throw up and you said while
it’s going on oh no other day just the Monday come home throw up on the floor
and you sit down what’s going on I said well he’s had you know Friday evening
Saturday and Sunday to just chill out and be in his own zone and be
comfortable then he goes into a school environment which throws him all out and
he’s happened to deal with that all day and he just goes crazy sick so it’s kind
of like I can totally understand what you know about I’ve not really
experienced that myself from because I just have been used to accessing myself
for ages I can’t know the last time I cross this off to another situation
because like you you want to go out and have that fun of your friends I’m not
really bothered I’d rather just kind of like separate myself and I think that is
the difference between the male and the female on the spectrum the friends I
have the friends that just know how useless I am maintaining friendships and
they kind of accept them they just think well Charl is the way she is and if I
want to see her I’m just gonna have to give her a call or yeah there’s nothing
wrong with that and I think that like being proud of who you are as well it’s
going to definitely help overcome any kind of stigma about all those things
ok so just want to say thanks for Cherl to come down and actually do this video
it’s super awesome and I’m looking forward to getting a tattoo from you
sometime in the near future if you want to check out the next video it’s all
about autism symptoms in girls and I’ll leave it in the next video card and
don’t forget to subscribe if you wanna learn more see you next time guys

100 thoughts on “AUTISM in GIRLS: 5 Social Anxiety Traits (YOU need to know)

  1. I’ve been really struggling with individualizing myself, and it’s so nice to see that I’m not the only one that lost myself to masking😭 thank you for making me feel like I am lost but not alone

  2. Hey everyone. A lifechanging book for people who has autism is "How to Make Friends and Influence People" from Dale Carnegie.

    This book was awfull to me because I started to listen too much to bad criticism, so be carefull with how you interpret things. Anyway, this book shaped me into a great comunicator, just be carefull and don't follow blindly, and you'll get a lot of good things from it.

    What I do is to just listen and respond with simple questions based on what the person said, and always make about them. Let them talk, and eventualy, they'll want to know you and ask you things about you. And you try to say what is most apropriated for the moment. I was not diagnosed with autism (not sure what I have), so I can't give certainty.

  3. Bro yes so much on the masking one. I’ve told a few people I do this with very mixed results. It’s still hard for me to open up to people sometimes and yeah losing that sense of self. Man. I vibe with your Charl

  4. this entire video was relatable! every sign was literally me too, and it makes me sad that i havent had the courage or time to go figure out how to get diagnosed 🙁

  5. I find this video confusing… she talks about having common social anxiety traits but that doesn’t mean youre autistic. What specifically makes her autistic? Maybe she just suffers from social anxiety 🤷🏻‍♀️

  6. I'm a woman with autism and I enjoy being alone all the time too. That isn't just a male autism trait. Even having diner with my mom is a chore to me. I'd rather spend my time alone. Knowing I have friends and family out in the world that care about me is kinda enough for me. I don't really need to see them to feel connected.

  7. I think I might have Aspergers I've had all these symptoms my whole plus general anxiety disorder .. Btw I am a female I am trying to do more research on it .. Any females have aspergers let my know

  8. Dude, this whole list especially, the masking I thought was only me. wow. one time I tried to explain it to my boyfriend and he didn’t have the slightest clue what I was trying to get

  9. I used to struggle a lot with small talk until I discovered my secret weapon.  People love to talk about themselves.  I only have to ask them a few questions about themselves and they are all happy to converse on that subject.  The weather is another safe bet of course.

  10. How many here on the spectrum have Rh- blood type?

    Masking is the beginning of the next link in human evolution, one day every human on earth will be autistic, we're (autistics) among the first waves of that link, we just have to learn how to act human from the previous link (non autistics).
    We ARE the X-Men, the super hero's, the gate keepers of reality collectively throughout modern history, we just don't know it yet.

    We will someday save the world.

  11. I never ever thought about such a diagnosis. But I hit almost all the points, except masking – I don’t think I do that, but… I think there is something similar, but unconscious.
    I thought I just had social anxiety..

  12. It was a long time ago that I commented on your channel and said that the girl in the video was beautiful. It's because I related to her on a big level that I didn't realize until just now. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and ever since getting on prescription pills it has made my life a mess but somehow I've found friends that are on the spectrum and I relate to them in more ways than I first thought. So now I'm trying to do more research on it before getting reevaluated because it's pretty expensive to find those doctors to evaluate. I've been watching videos on YouTube about Asbergers and I've come around full circle to your channel again today. Thank you ❤️ I am going to ask more about getting re-evaluated again and learn more about this stuff.

  13. I’m really starting to think my daughter (22) is on the spectrum. This would explain so much. She was diagnosed with BPD but eh, that’s not quite right either. She can talk about her interest for hours upon hours without stopping. She’s extremely socially awkward, becomes mute, shuts down and crumpled in social situations, doesn’t understand social cues or social contracts. She speaks without awareness of her voice volume – I often have to let her know to lower her voice. She can never advocate for herself, I find myself speaking For her when we’re in public (I’m trying to stop). When she was a child at the park, she didn’t know how to play with other kids. Instead, she would sit on the bench crying that they don’t want to play with her. She’s prone to sensory overload and when she’s upset, she panics to the point of tunnel vision. Sometimes it hurts because she seems to have no emotional attachment to me nor anyone in the family. But maybe I’ve been looking at this from the wrong angle.

  14. Lol, I developed a masking technique where I ask basic questions about people’s interesting that aren’t in my range of special interests. I just kind of day dream while they ramble- or attempt to relate their interests to mine own.

  15. My social anxiety use to freeze me paralyzed right in my tracks. It was like a lois rush and is just freeze in my track's. Can't moce, can't talk or even express what was happening to me. Often folks would assume I was going through some sort of sesiours.

  16. Oh shute i have all of these. Ive been learning alot about myself lately. Its scarey but freeing all at the same time

  17. Before you self diagnose talk to your counsellor….and make sure you are not surrounded by narcissists …gas lighting you.

  18. Is there a point in masking where you don’t even realise you’re doing it? I feel like this is the case for me honestly.

  19. I relate to literally all of this but i'm pretty sure for me these thing are just caused by my anxiety and depression. Or who knows I guess lol. But good to know about all these new terms like masking and selective mutism

  20. When I started learning about ASD I felt like I finally found what’s “wrong” with me (which is nothing at all!) I wish I could afford a diagnosis, it would make my life a lot easier

  21. The more I learn about Aspergers (and probably other forms of Autism), the more it seems to me that it's about emotional boundaries. Life, for anybody , is a big mess of unsorted stimulus – especially in the social realm. But your average person has a toolbox full of strategies for defending themselves from the chaos: They can justify, bracket, qualify, relativize, postpone, sublimate, compartmentalize – all those typical defences. They let a person live , despite all the contradictions. I think a person-on-the-spectrum lives life with much less protection. Even the tiniest frictions & conflicts get _felt_, at the deepest level. Obsessions & repetitions are one of the few available tools for putting up the necessary boundaries. We all need to keep a core home-base of emotional safety! So we have to use whatever boundary tools we have – hence the 'behaviours'.

  22. I've never been diagnosed ever as a 21 year old but most of this is very alarmingly relatable. I thought this was just my personality lol. I have my first appointment with a mental health professional tomorrow because my depression's getting pretty bad but watching this video makes me think it might be more than just depression. Thank you for this video <3 I finally don't feel alone

  23. I think I may be mildly autistic.
    My issue is that my doctor wants me to write a list of my 'problems' before she'll diagnose me… but I've spent so long finding ways around issues I don't know if I can consider them 'problems'… nor do I know what they are anymore.

    But so many lists of autism in women have me thinking "this is me."

    I just want to know.

  24. You guys are autistic !? Must be hard . My son is non verbal , low functioning and requires non stop supervision . That's real autism . You guys are just quirky and using a real disorder to make yourselves get victim points so you can have unearned status .

  25. my mum has always thought i had autism but everytime ive seen a health practicioner they have said they find it hard to diagnose people who are not children.. etc :/ the masking thing i can admit to ive never knew that was a thing, even if its nothing ive always wonderd why i have done this, like the next day i will automatically talk like someone else.. and in my mind im thinking how would that person cope with the socialness etc then il go back to me normally and lack skills… arhg O_O

  26. I took a look on instangram and Omg Charl your tatoos are brilliant, And i don't even like tatoos but it's art, So impressive

  27. Love this, thank you guys!
    I'm autistic and this is one of the first times I've heard a woman my age talk about her experiences!! It made me feel less crazy. And re: point 3, I feel like it's impossible for other people to get to know me because I don't know how to talk about things outside of my special interests, but I also don't want to ramble so I've learned not to bring them up myself.

  28. It’s crazy to me how accurately this describes me. I spent my early years being the shy kid, people would always say “you never talk!” And then I wouldn’t be able to talk at all because I’d be so anxious I wouldn’t be able to think of a single thing to say. Then in high school I desperately tried to fit in by learning how to socialize from watching MTV and observing other people but it never worked that well. Now I’m an adult and I’m so tired of the anxiety and always saying the wrong thing, staying up all night thinking about social interactions that I just don’t talk to people or have friends. I didn’t even realize until about 18 that I saw social interaction in a different way than most people. I found drinking to be very helpful because it kind of removed that anxiety filter and allowed me to talk and socialize freely but then I’d give myself anxiety attacks thinking about the things I said while I was drunk and worrying about the things I didn’t remember saying. Convincing myself with every social interaction that I’ve ruined everything I’ve worked so hard to build.
    I don’t know if I have autism or just social anxiety, but it’s so nice to know that I’m not alone in what I’m experiencing.

  29. hello! i have been diagnosed with a wide variety of mental illness but at 18 it is clear i am on the spectrum. My dad is also affected by minor autism, my entire life my parents have never treated me different. I was put in sports, i learned how to enhance my social skills even though it was a painful experience masking i developed a way to understand how other people work, and it was a huge fascination for me up until this day. I had a lot of self doubt and depression later on in middle school, and early in high school only because i became extremely self aware that i was not like other people, and people did view me from a different light. I flourished in playing golf and the arts, i always love listening and discovering new music, along with having an ability to play piano by ear. I never have been a good test taker because i have zero perception of time which proceeds to me zoning out and panicking, also i lose interest very quickly in a classroom setting. My entire life i always identified myself on a different plane of brain compared to my piers, but i have learned how to express my differences in a reasonable light where people can see what i see. thank you for this video feels nice not to feel alone!

  30. I think these traits are very human and don't necessarily mean you are on the spectrum. I would absolutely diagnose my wife, daughter, and myself with Aspergers after watching this. There are many different personalities in this world! Take a look at personality type systems like Meyers Briggs or Socionics, things based on Carl Jung's work. IMO they are very useful when it comes to understanding the behaviors and traits described in this video. You might have Asperger's, or you might just be an introvert with high levels of anxiety.

  31. Man, if I knew all of this in my elementary school… I might have avoided all that bullying, rejection, fear, and feeling overwhelmed by that monstrous reality I was forced to live in. Maybe my parents would have moved me to a smaller, more friendly school, with teachers who understood how to work with autistic / aspie children. Maybe… but that was in the eighties, and I was a girl – two things that caused that I discovered I'm an Aspie far in my thirties, after decades of struggling with this world. Masking, then isolating, then masking again…
    Thank you for sharing all of this. Channel subscribed.

  32. Charl do you think it's easier to talk to females or even males with ASD because of the mutual understanding there already?

  33. I came here from Fathering Autism, I have learning difference as a result I have trouble looking people in the eyes and as a result people think me as being rude or they Accuse me of not paying attention so as a result people tend grab my face and pull it close to theirs or they will hold my Face as they talk to that drives me insane, I like large crowds , I have issues with writing ,spelling, Grammar and punctuation, I have to have Extended time on test ,exams and finals or I have take them verbally ,or I have been in a quite room with no Distractions, I dont Particularly like large crowds, I fear fire work / cracker I cant stand the sound of balloons being inflated or blown up and Lord forbid if they burst or pop I really freak out.

  34. My middle daughter shows different traits of autism but I’ve been watching these videos to maybe be able to associate the different traits that she has, and I’m 98% positive I’ve been right about her diagnosis and these videos have helped me feel better about it. It’s just so hard to get a diagnosis from a doctor because they want to medicate children but you can’t medicate someone on the spectrum.

  35. I am absolutely on board with the girl, i mimic everything including movies and for all the medication i have nothing can stop it.
    Fascinating ive only just subbed in the past day and stumbled across this girl she is almost my doppelganger in female form

  36. Are these really things that are traits of Autism? I know that's kind of a strange question but like do other people not have this struggle? I'm totally in the dark about this. And I mean this question in the nicest way cause like what

  37. Thank you for the video – very important! Masking and the ability to run social scripts left me doubting my own autism for some decades.

  38. So What makes a person autistic? Because I know a lot of people who suffer from anxiety and have these traits but they’re not on the spectrum whatsoever

  39. This clip really strengthens me in my suspicions that I am on the spectrum, still tryong to gather the courage to go to a complete stranger of a psychiatrist and see if they can help me get a diagnosis…

  40. A lot of these traits I wouldn't consider "autistic" but attributed to an HSP, Hightly Sensitive Person. Check out

  41. wtf most of her descriptions matches with INFP woman behaviour only slightly more intense is there a fine line or how maybe it is how you are forced to act like as a woman in society sadness

  42. I actually have all of these traits, especially masking and selective mutism as a male (but I’m not great at masking, my girlfriend is much better than me). I’m not diagnosed, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of this.

  43. My daughter who is 25 is an Aspie. She was a selective mute at an early age, sensory overload, straight faced, misunderstood communication easily . Formal diagnosis as a Black female has yet to happen. She masks and the most troublesome part is that she totally exhausted and depleted by the end of the day from sensory overload. She then becomes moody and wants to be alone. Of course she is commonly mistaken as snobby because of her lack of eye contact and can sometimes overlook attempts from others to engage. I'm so angry that we spent her childhood and teenage years struggling with "social anxiety". How could her symptoms not hit professionals over the head is beyond me !! We are okay now because we know what she has and why she feels this way.

  44. Anyone else’s face get super red sometimes? My mom tells me it’s because I’m shy.. yet I relate to every one of these traits, but when I’m with people I’m comfortable around, I’m a totally different person.
    I’m not myself out in the real world and I don’t know how to be.
    It’s like, as I’ve gotten older, it has all gotten worse
    I was severely bullied and traumatized as a kid growing up and went through so much as a teen
    I just recently turned 20 and I can’t understand why everyone my age is able to keep a stable job and develope friendships/relationships so easily..
    blaaahhhh blah blah
    So friggin much, weehh!

  45. 10:05 I feel always so bad when that happens… I love my gf, but sometimes she talks about stuff that gets so boring to me that it's painful.

  46. I've been tested for Aspergers in a 2h test before and that came out negative, but I've watched a few of your videos now, and so much is fitting. For instance that I like to talk about what I'm interested in. I am very aware that every damn sentence I say has an 'I' in it, and that that might turn people off, so I will desperately try to build the sentences differently. I might even be interested in info about the other person, but the best I can ask is: "Well, do you want to tell me something about yourself now for a change?" Talking to other people is so difficult. I enjoy it sometimes, but it sucks all of my energy out. Guess I should seek a diagnosis once more…or however long it takes.

  47. Should find a "tomboy" to discuss this with. Someone who's interests are NOT typically girly-type. Would like to see how they work through this. The rejection in grade school made me learn not to care about being socially acceptable to other girls – did't care about fashion and make-up, or celebrities. I'm old now, but have had many of these difficulties my whole life – my interests have been animals and plants – learned to deal with social unacceptance by being comfortable with my solitude. I'm not depressed when I'm by myself, in fact I'm at my happiest. I'm OK with my grown kids, but "outside folks" I have to take in small measures. Example: I had to attend my son's wedding and reception and deal with all the new inlaws and my daughter-in-laws friends and church-members. I'm biting my tongue so as not to say something inappropriate to these folks. So at the reception held in inlaws' home, I end up sitting on the floor and playing with their dog – cause he accepts me as I am and enjoys the attention… and I don't say something to someone that sounds strange to them. I live rural in order to have Peace, if I visit my kids in the city, after 4 or 5 days I start to feel like I have ants crawling under my skin and have to go home. Too many humans, lights, sirens, etc… want my pine trees and quiet. My dog, cats, sheep, and poultry are accepting of me as I am.

  48. Im 24 and my mom thinks i have aspergers, she has had this idea since i was 15 and i hatted her for it for a long long time. Bit thanks to videos like this it helps me understand why she would think this.

  49. I can relate so much to these things and I started going to therapy but I haven’t really gotten any diagnosis on it, I’m just told how I’m supposed to understand I’m a shy person

  50. Some time ago someone told me "I think you might be on the autism spectrum", I genuinely didn't know how to take it.. I didn't really know much about autism, you kind of just hear parents with autistic children talk about how difficult they are.. but after watching this I feel like all of my characteristics are starting to make sense to me.. After all this time of feeling so confused and depressed, not understanding myself, I think I may have finally found an answer.. Thank you so much for this video <3

  51. I have severe social anxiety but this video has me questioning whether it is more than that
    As a child I never fitted in, I always felt ‘different’/abnormal idk how to describe it 🤷🏼‍♀️
    But as I got older I become more reserved, struggled all through school w anxiety would avoid certain lessons & depended highly on my bestfriend at the time who did literally everything for me, thankfully we were in the same classes together n so if I needed the toilet she would ask & the teachers would let us go together. Then when it came to college she wasn’t there & things went downhill, I started having panic attacks, would go mute when it came to speaking infront of the class & ended up avoiding lessons. Changed colleges which only made things worse, went to a 3rd & final one and they ended up making me leave, studied from home & I’ve been stuck at home since don’t go out often at all due to the extreme anxiety levels when I leave the house, it gets very lonely & I feel like nobody understands 🙃 I don’t know anybody with anxiety that it affects them as severely as it does me n idk I worry it may be something more 🤷🏼‍♀️

  52. Important !
    Socialising on a one to one can literally feel like my oxygen is being a group slightly better but still exhausting

  53. I've learned not to give a shit what others think. Rejection doesn't scare me any longer and I'm more like the boys and just do my own thing. Other people really don't interest me much, but I've learned to not let my mood dip when I'm isolated. I've come to appreciate the freedom from other people's expectations. My friends know how I am and are cool with it. Weirdly I think a bunch of my fandom friends are on the spectrum so it's probably why we relate so well. One trick I've discovered is to plan several scripts in preparation for possible events so I'm not caught short.

  54. “When the script runs out what do I do now?” Yep, totally relate. I would tell my parents I talked all my words out.

  55. I'm a female no diagnosis but i have these problems and i totally understand what your saying i used to get so overwhelmed that i would just get up and leave and not say anthing until friends started coming and asking what are doing why are you here alone everyone is in there having fun come back

  56. I relate to all of these things… I haven’t. Been diagnosed… because I don’t know where to go, or who to talk to… even just commenting on this video gives me fear. Lol

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