Building your inner coach | Brett Ledbetter | TEDxGatewayArch

Building your inner coach | Brett Ledbetter | TEDxGatewayArch

Translator: Marta Badura
Reviewer: Queenie Lee Fifteen coaches, 8,700+ wins, 200+ conference championships and 21 national championships. The past few years,
I’ve gone across the country to interview and observe these coaches to figure out what it is
they all have in common. And if I had to boil it down
to one sentence, it would be that they focus
less on the result, more on the process, but they recognize that character
is what drives the process, which drives the result. What does that mean,
and how does that apply to you, guys? And how can that improve
your life and your performance? Those are the questions
I’m going to try to tackle with this talk. So, we’re going to start here. Do you know the voice inside your head,
your inner most thoughts that nobody else
has access to except for you? My mentor, Dr. Jim Loehr,
calls that “your private voice.” He’s going to take it a step further. (Video) Jim Loehr:
How helpful is that private voice? Is it a voice you would be proud
to have displayed on the wall, particularly during tough times? How does it speak to you? Is it really a coach
that is really giving you very strong positive
messages that help you? Or is it actually working
to break you down, to actually cause you more grief,
more pain, more stress? And once you begin to realize that voice
is almost always saying something and then to begin
to take more responsibility for how that voice
is actually speaking to you, and to realize that this voice
will be the only voice that’s with you until your death, we want that voice to be someone
who is a contributor to your life. So if we had to sum up what Jim said, it’d be that your private voice
can either help you out or break you down. But it’s the only voice
that is with you until your death. I want you to put yourself
in this situation: You’re in a game. Your whole
student body is watching you. Things are going bad for you,
things are going bad for your team. What if at that moment,
the thoughts that you were thinking scrolled across the bottom
of the scoreboard for everyone in the gym to see? How would that make you feel? The interesting thing about this
is when we think negatively, not only are we competing
against our opponent, but who else are we competing against? Ourselves. So we have to turn our private
voice into our inner coach, so that when we go
through those tough times, our inner coach can guide us through them. What I want to do is to show you a real-life example
of what that looks like, and it’s from one of my all-time
favorite college basketball games. We’re going to pick things up
with four seconds left in the game. So Butler has the basketball
on the baseline. They’re in white. They’re down one
against Gonzaga who’s in blue. Let’s see how this plays out. (Video starts) (End of video) That fires me up every time I see it,
but here’s the deal. The reason I love that
is because those last two plays were the exact opposite of one another. The first one was an example of failure,
the second one was an example of success. So what I want to do is
to watch those clips one more time, but this time, I want
to call your attention to Butler’s head coach, Brad Stevens. So you’re going to see him. He’s right there. I want you to keep your eye
on him the whole time. Watch his body language
as his player travels. (Video starts) So how would you describe it? I think it was pretty calm,
would you guys agree? Now, 99 out of 100 games
when your player travels, when you guys are down one
with four seconds left, you’re going to lose that game,
but what did he do? He calmly walked over
to the bench subbed his player and got ready mentally for what? The next play. So now, I’d like to call your attention
to Brad Stevens one more time. I want you to watch his reaction
as his player hits the game-winning shot. (Video starts) How awesome is that? The reason I love that
is because of what? He handles it exactly the same way
as he handled the failure. Despite all the chaos
that’s going on around him, he’s able to maintain discipline
with his emotions. I’m going to show you how to do that
which is why you have those note cards. So, I want you to take 30 seconds, and I want you to think
about this question, and I want you to write this down: I want to know the last time you felt stress, pressure, or anxiety. I want you to write that situation down. Chances are it probably happened today …
I give you guys 30 sec. [30 seconds later] Here’s what I want you to do now. Underneath what you wrote down,
I want you to answer this question: “What were you worried about? What about that situation caused you
to feel stress, pressure, or anxiety? [30 seconds later] All right, now what’s going to happen is I’m going to show you
what you’re thinking about on your card. Anytime we feel stress,
pressure, or anxiety, we’re thinking of one of two things, either the future,
something that could happen, or the past, something that has happened. So here’s what I want you to do:
I want to see a show of hands. How many of you thought about
something in the future or the past? Funny how that works, isn’t it? When we focus in on the present, we focus on the things
that we can control, which is exactly what Brad Stevens did. Now, this is moments after his player
hit the game-winning shot. I want you to hear what he says
in the postgame interview. (Video) Journalist: What did you say
to your players in the locker room to come out with such fire? Brad Stevens: My deal has always been I don’t care the result
as long as we have no regrets, and we want to make sure
we left it all out there, and they did. “I don’t care the result as long as” what?
My players leave it all out on the court. Now what’s interesting is Brad told me that he’s actually gone away
from talking about goals with his team. Why would he do that? Well, here’s the definition
of the word “goal.” It’s “the result
to which effort is aimed.” When you focus on goals,
you focus on results. And if you think about it, results
are oftentimes outside of our control. So when Brad says “I want to make sure
we leave it all on the court,” what is he talking about? The second part of the definition,
the effort aimed at the result. We call this “the process.” And your process
is what drives the result. Everyone understand that? Now, is Brad saying
that you shouldn’t set goals? I don’t think so. In fact,
here’s what he told me. “You can have the goal of a championship
but there’s a process to get there, and your focus needs to be on that.” So if you set goals,
what do you need to focus on? The process!
Does everyone understand that? You know what I struggled with
when I was your age? Focusing on the process. When I entered
my senior season in basketball, here were my three goals. The first thing, I wanted to get
Mr. Missouri Basketball. All that means is that the high school
coaches around the States vote you as the best player. The second goal, I wanted to hit
was the Division 1 Scholarship. That means that you play at the highest
level of college basketball. And the third thing, I wanted to do
was to win a State Championship. Now, what’s interesting
if you look at these goals, each one of these things
is outside of my control. I can’t control whether or not
coaches vote for me, that’s their opinion. I can’t control which college
offers me a scholarship. And I certainly can’t control
whether or not I stay healthy, and my teammates
stay healthy and injury free. You know what my issue was
when I was your age? My thoughts were always in the future. I saw all these dreams inside my head, and I worried about whether or not
I have what it takes to get there. Can anybody relate to that? Which is why these next two coaches
you are going hear from, I wish so badly that I would have
heard this advice when I was your age. The first person you’re going
to hear from is Sherri Coale. She’s one of my all-time favorite people. (Video) Sherri Coale: The best way
to get that next position is to do an amazing job where you are. I just believe that people talk that “there’s this guy
and he’s unbelievable.” And I just think,
excellence is hard to keep quiet. “Excellence is hard to keep quiet,” I love that. And what else did she say? The best way to get
to the next level is how? To be great at your current level. Here’s how you do that. (Video) Buzz: There’re no shortcuts.
There are no magic pills. Nobody’s going to give you anything. And whenever it is
that you do have an opportunity – and you will be given an opportunity-
you have to be prepared. Because you don’t know
when that opportunity is going to come, you have to prepare for that every day. So if I was going to sum up
what Buzz just said, it’d be that success can be found
in your daily agenda. You know what he has
his players do at college? They have to document on a piece of paper every single thing that they do
throughout the day. And at the end of the night
before they go to bed, they review all the activities, and they have to pick two things
that they’ll get better at for tomorrow. And the whole idea
is to improve 6% each day. What are Buzz and Sherri both saying? The same thing that Brad is,
to focus on what? The process. Now what’s interesting is there’s
something else that’s driving the process. And that’s your character. Now when I say that, that word means so many different things
to so many different people. There are two types of character
and that’s what I want to show you now. The first type is what we call
“performance character.” These are character skills that govern
your relationship with yourself. These are the things
that will make you get up at 5:30 a.m. to go workout in a gym by yourself. The second kind of character
is what we call “moral character.” These are character skills that govern
your relationships with others. These are the things that make you
a great teammate and a great friend. Now, those 15 coaches
that I showed you earlier, what we did is we pulled out
from our interviews with them, the top ten performance
and moral character skills that they value most. Here’s the list. Now, as you look at this list, I want you to ask yourself
what do you struggle with? At the beginning of our training
sessions in our academy, we start in the film room for 20 minutes, and our whole idea is to show
championship coaches, to bring meaning
to every one of these words. So our players can make them
a part of who they are. Imagine if you use your inner coach to help you build all of these things. How much better would you be? So how does all of this tie in together? Well, we want to build our inner coach, and great coaches
begin with the end in mind. So the first thing
you want to ask yourself is what am I trying to accomplish? Is it to improve at school,
relationally or with your score? Once you have that, you then move
to the process and ask yourself, “What’s my plan? How am I going
to make that happen?” After you have that, you then ask yourself
what are the character skills that I’ll need to use and develop? We have a really good player
at our Academy, like best in the country
at their position good, and I told them if I don’t help you
build your inner coach, I failed you. So I asked them,
what are you struggling with? And you know what she told me? She says “I have an 82% in math
and I need to get it up to an A.” I said, “Here’s what we’re going to do,
I’m going to be you, and I want you to be your inner coach. I want you to give me advice
on how you’re going to raise that grade.” Do you know what she said? She said, “First thing you need to do
is to meet with your teacher once a week. Second thing, you need
to create flashcards, so you can memorize the formulas. And third thing, you need
to quit procrastinating. You need to start studying a week out. And you’re going to need to work
on your discipline and accountability.” Now, I’ve got to tell you,
I’m laughing here because I’m thinking that’s the better
advice I could have ever given her, and she is giving it to herself. But what’s funny is I asked her this, “Do you speak to me with more respect
than you speak to yourself?” And she smiled wide because she’s so hard on herself. How many of you guys can relate to that? So what do we do
as we move through this sequence, and we don’t hit the result
that we’re shooting for? How many of you know
who Kevin Durant is? He’s a pretty good basketball player,
for those of you who don’t know who he is. I asked Kevin what was the best thing
that happened to him for his development? Here’s what he told me. (Video) Kevin Durant: Messing up. Going through experiences
is our best teacher. I know if I mess up,
I learn from it and get better. Kevin turned results
into learning experiences. What did I do? My identity was wrapped up
in the result. So if I had a bad game,
I felt terrible about myself, and I was only as good
as my last performance. So, I was in an emotional roller-coaster. How can we turn those results
into learning experiences? This is an exercise you can do
after a big performance, sports, school, whatever it is. When you have your result,
ask yourself this question: “What did I do well and why?” You can take the success
and focus on the “why?” because when you focus on the “why?”
you can then, repeat that in the future. And then, you can
ask yourself this question: “What could I do better and how?” And by asking “how?”
you take the focus off the mistake, and focus on how you’re going
to improve it for next time. Guys, my hope for this talk is that you walk away
with an understanding of how important it is
to build your inner coach, so that you focus less on the results
and more on the process, and you use your inner coach
to build your character. Winning is not a result. Winning is a process
that’s driven by character. Thank you very much. (Applause)

63 thoughts on “Building your inner coach | Brett Ledbetter | TEDxGatewayArch

  1. Great talk!  This illustrates beautifully what I believe to be true.  Focus less on results and more on the process, which is driven by character.  Everyone can benefit from this and sports coaches in particular!  Loved the coach here who doesn't "go crazy" when things go wrong, and doesn't get all puffed up when they win.

  2. Absolutely fantastic! Our inner coach if trained correctly has the power to literally transform our lives. Going within on a daily basis and self analysing to identify what we did well and how we could improve is quite possibly one of the single best self help techniques available to us, and all we need is a pencil and paper. Great talk Brett, thank you!

  3. I really appreciate this piece of advice. Developing our inner coach will help us to grow ourselves by being self conscious about our nature, capabilities , willingness and goals.

    Very clear to understand! Just love it!

  4. As a youth and adult rowing coach and club captain, this video was perfect. I totally agree and I particularly like the idea of focusing on the goal and working backwards to understand the necessary steps to put in place. Thank you for sharing Brett

  5. So well said, Brett ! I'm a life coach and this is exactly what I speak about for peak performance for our kids and for helping our kids progress both on and off the court/field/classroom and for ourselves.

  6. Thank you Brett! I was asking today for a sign…of how can I improve..and was lucky to find this video.

  7. My Passion is to Transform, To an Elite Level, The ALpha Mindset! and Help others Ahieve more!

  8. Thank you Brett. Let me explain . I was hired as a new high school softball coach. The team was the bottom of their conference but the talent was there in 2016. I got to use your Character-Process- Result philosophy in my 1st year and found the team competing for a District Title . During the District title game we found ourselves with 2 outs in the bottom of the 7th inning against our district power house. There was a runner on 1st base and the score was 3-1 in our favor. I was pacing back and forth in the dug out when the runner on first was up to bat and watched her obtain 1st base with a blazing base hit. I said to myself how do I take control of the situation. Well I remember the basketball clip you showed and I sat back down on the bucket and watch our pitcher strike out their lead off hitter looking. We won the district championship and I must accredit you and these videos as being a hidden driven force behind the success of our team this year. Their Character drove their practices (The PROCESS) and the end result was much more than the goal they originally set for themselves.

  9. This is by far the best ted talk I have seen in a while. A lot of talks are too conceptual for me and this is on a very practical level

  10. Very inspiring how you connect building your inner coach with basketball! Especially as it gave me renewed awareness of the coaching lessons I indeed picked up through the game of basketball… Thank you!

  11. Great Talk, it open my mind to a new point of view of myself and i´m gonna share this with my daugthers and son…Thank you Brett

  12. TEDx Tlaks – PIŠTE TY KOMENTY LASKAVĚ V ČEŠTINĚ – Je to přece tak jednoduché – pro vás ,co se cítíte být mnohem "vzdělanější" ,než všichni ostatní, by to mělo být obzvláště jasné – jsme v ČR !!! – náš rodný jazyk je čeština. Doslova mne uráží vaše arogance. Když už se podaří v tom marastu,který produkuje (-te?) na kanále TEDx Talks najít něco smysluplného (a to se musí dlouho hledat), tak popis videa je pouze v angličtině – je takový problém napsat to alespoň v obou jazycích? Je to úžasné, kam až nás tlačí "vzdělanci"…. když pominu ty trapné tlachy o ničem a o nesmrtelnosti chrousta… musí to být neskutečně výdělečná činnost. Dívat se na většinu těch diskutujících a nýmandů je ztráta času. Takže vlastně jde o to najít si v té snůšce trapností něco moudrého- a když už to člověk najde,prosím- mluvte jak nám zobák narostl a pokud je angličtina tak světová,odstěhujte se někam,kde je rodným jazykem. Jak říkám – JSME V ČR.

  13. What a great talk. I coach CYO volleyball . I always start my practices with what went wrong (lost game) or what went right (we won game). Really enjoyed this ted talk.

  14. Awesome message! One of the best motivational video. Once we start focusing on the process and what we can control we can be in peace irrespective of our result.

  15. supplier- input – process = output (VOC) customer… this is the universal formula… very well explained

  16. Well done…great content, interactive learning broken down in easy steps, Really like "Self Coach/Inner Coach" better than Gremlin, Monkey Brain. And, science now confirms we can "train" this coach. Particularly like the distinctions about character and his exercise of the what and why of those distinctions to fuel the process.,

  17. Just so you know, the Character skills listed at 12:41, are now hanging in my office. I have a pretty good grip on the Moral skills, I could of course always brush up on them in order to use them every day. On the other hand… Performance skills have been something that I had no idea about. I have a great grip on the resilient skill, I just knew that there was so much I was missing out on that would help me "perform" better at my job. I'm grateful for these skills to be listed like this, ESPECIALLY in a TED talk <3. Now that I have my list hanging in my office, it will soon be plaster all over the rest of my life, in my home, on my school computer, on my phone. Everywhere I need it <3 I'm also grateful for these to be listed because these are the things that I look for in a partner, now that I have an idea of things to work on for myself & a solid idea of how to improve these skills, I can confidently list these as "my needs" for a relationship. This has truly helped my life. I live in the future the way he did, I tried to attend college 2 other times. & I just started my 3rd attempt on Monday. This has helped me focus on the process, and be patient with myself. <3

  18. The process not just the result…marinate in the process /building character and the result will come. Love it. Thank you x

  19. What a wonderful thought. Thank you for sharing these valuable information. This will be definitely important to reduce stress.

  20. As of the posting of this comment there are 3.1k thumbs up and 99 thumbs down. How after watching Brett’s talk can anyone give his talk a thumbs down? This is an excellent, concise and well thought out talk. I will definitely have my students watch Brett’s talk more than once. It’s that good! And I’ll be looking for more from Brett.

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