Culture SHOCK: a DUTCH PARTNER !?

Culture SHOCK: a DUTCH PARTNER !?


When I understand the language, I understand the culture. That’s so important as you’re in a relationship that you understand the background. My husband and I will have been together since 2012. I married last year, here in Amsterdam; a genuine ‘vrouw’ (=wife). Well, the basic thing is to be happy with Dutch: of course ‘directness’ There’s no taboos. You can talk about your sex life… any subject… nothing’s hidden behind the curtains. You should be direct to them. You cannot make it like a one-way path; it has to be both ways. I’m dating a Dutch student, a long-distance relationship mainly. Language and the way they interact with you borderline on rudeness sometimes. It does. For people who are coming from other countries, other cultures, it’s a shock at the beginning. My ex-husband says, for example, when we were dating: oh, you gained like five kilos, and for a woman, it’s like really? Yeah, you are a bit fluffy. I’m a very logical person and less emotional, so it was so refreshing for me. He tells me if another girl has hit on him. I don’t really want to hear that, but he just tells me straight out. They cut out all those things that are unnecessary, but it’s the way that they talk. It’s the way their humour is. When we just started dating, I was telling him that yeah, I’m hungry. He was saying: look, there’s a McDonalds. Go there, buy something, and I’ll wait for you here. I was like: are you serious? It’s a marriage of complete equals. I like that Dutch people are independent. Culturally, they stopped living with their parents when they’re 18. In Mexico, it’s not like that. You leave your house when you get married. If you want to have a Dutch man happy, everything has to be in order. You will be organized and have order in your brain, in your house and everything. Red (Taiwan):
The only conflict we had before the marriage was about working time. In my culture, you basically work yourself to death. I was working like 14 hours a day. I even worked on weekends as well, and he was really mad at me… He was like: we need a work-life balance! We have a shared account. I think it’s very good. Every month, we put a certain amount in the account and then whenever we go for holiday or go to do something together or for the housing or anything, we just take money from the shared account. Even things like getting food; it never feels like a last-minute decision. You know exactly what aisle we’re going to; we know exactly what time we’re going to meet at the grocery store after work or after class or something like that. I think actually the principle is basically the same for every culture though: communication, communication, communication. I think the most important thing to maintain the relationship is probably you can learn the Dutch, probably you get to know about the language, then it’s easy to communicate, and also you probably know the language, and also you know him well. Try to learn Dutch a little bit and try to get into it because that helps a lot. Also with parents, if you start talking Dutch, they like you a lot more. Oow… parents… because they don’t really speak a lot of English, and I don’t speak so much Dutch either, most times, we just use sign language. So, learning Dutch will help, I think. Yeah. I think that he is very proud that I’m learning Dutch because I got flowers from him yesterday, and I think that he is very happy that we can talk more in Dutch now. It shows that you really want to invest in your relationship. You really want to put effort into understanding each other. I don’t see why you wouldn’t learn each other’s languages. I think it’s kind of beautiful.

79 thoughts on “Culture SHOCK: a DUTCH PARTNER !?

  1. The one bad thing about the Dutch is not their "directness" as you can do the same to them 😁 The issue is that they are not spontaneous.Spontaneity is the best thing in life sometimes but having to check your agenda(book full of dates) to meet someone when you're not a diplomat 🙄 is rather ridiculous.

  2. This is an accurate video! I laughted a lot, specially when one of the women mentioned the "I am hungry" case. My boyfriend at the beginning also told me: "Ok, you can go there to eat something". I am from Paraguay, and if you say something like "I am hungry" you expect that the other person is going to join you at least as a company eating something small. Nowadays I am more "dutch" so I can do the same thing to him haha.

  3. i dated some dutch guys before, have to say the first dutch guy i dated many years ago he was fantastic, as a genuine friend as well as great boyfriend. His parents were very caring and warmhearted person. he was very very special.

    But most of the dutch guys i have met are just very plain, cold and distant. I do not see myself click with them well. They are too different from me.

  4. The Dutch call themselves 'nuchter' for which there is not an exact translation. Sober, clearheaded or matter of fact.

  5. A guy: You gained five kilos.
    > he is just too dumb to know how to be loved. In my opinion, that is not Dutch directness.😂

    I think we really need to differentiate rudeness and Dutch directness ( this is a cool trait of Dutch people to me).

    To be honest, all my Dutch family and friends are so caring and sensitive to what they are saying to other people. Some people pretend they are direct (but just rude) and mostly they were from Amsterdam(not every Amsterdamers) 😜😂😄

  6. My dutch partner today just told me that I need to watch what I eat because My cheek is getting chubbier … yup, he had to duck when my sandal almost flyover his face.

  7. This channel aimed teach „ Nederlands „ or?? If you really want to teach the language and help people maybe you can take as an example „German with Jenny „ YouTube channel. I think this kind of videos not interested who eager learn language. Please first Education, then you will get more subscribers, don’t worry Bart, dude. In the Channel that I gave as example, videos are systematically. from 0 to .. fluent . You even haven’t a video playlist for beginners.
    Common Man I looked your last videos and this video. Everybody talking in English. You can promote your culture but at least include it some Dutch. Sorry but your videos seems „click bait „ for more watch I think.

  8. I totally agree on the work/life balance but in my opinion, working 40 hours per week is still disproportionate.

  9. My Dutch boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, I moved to the Netherlands just over 3 months ago and next month I finally get to start taking Dutch classes! I know a few words but really looking forward to being able to have a real conversation in Dutch…….plus it'll mean he can't talk secretly in Dutch in front of me anymore haha

  10. I love Dutch culture and the language. It's just so beautiful. I am a very direct person, but I'm not sure if a Dutch boy would be appropriate for me. I have a strong personality, and if a Dutch says something like "your dress is ugly", or "your cheeks are chubby", he wouldn't like my answer, because I would tell him his defect too. We would be very equal and it's possible that we wouldn't stand a similar character. Or the opposite can happen : we could enjoy our direct answers. I don't know. I'd love to meet a Dutchie to see how it works.
    By the way, I'm shocked about schedule and agenda. Mediterraneans (I'm Spanish) make plans, but not everything is scheduled from the beginning. We live the present day and there are many unexpected things, and unexpected dates too. I have a question: do they plan when to make love too? I imagine a Dutch boy looking at his agenda and saying that he has 15 minutes on Monday morning from 15:00 to 15:15. Hahaha 🤣😂 I think that intimacy is something that comes spontaneously, and it can't be organized. I would answer that I stopped desiring it. 😅 (It's a joke).
    Apart from these points, I would be happy to meet a Dutch boy and share many different things of our cultures. It would be very nice, but there aren't many Dutch people living here. Most part of them are tourists, and they aren't willing to start a serious relationship. 😒
    The video was great. I loved it. Congratulations Bart. 😘

  11. 1:42 – "Everything has to be in order", eh? Nah, if you want a Dutch guy and you're chaotic… date me 😛 (I'm single on the moment I wrote this too, so what more do you want) XD

    (I'm straight, and a guy, so you'll have to be a woman though, and 18 years or older as I don't wanna do anything illegal). 😛

    3:38 – When it comes to "communication communication communication", well, any sort of relationship, not only a romantic relationship, but also business relationships or doctor-patient-relations or well, you name it, requires good communication. Since communication is the start of all bonds of trust in general. And I also think this goes for any human being. I think the world would already be a lot better if we communicated a little bit better, then we do now… Not only in expressing ourselves, but also in listening to each other and putting everything people say in the CORRECT CONTEXT!

  12. I'm Dutch myself and am watching these video's because my boyfriend is French and he has made comments about my directness XD
    I really didn't see what he meant before… But watching more of these vids makes me view my "Dutchness" in a different light. 🙂

  13. It's not about nationality, but personality. I know a lot of dutch people and all of them are absolutely different in their habits and acting.

  14. Frankly we Dutch don’t give a shit about you learning our language. Over the centuries we learned to understand most foreign languages ourselves. This is not meant in a bad way btw. It’s cute, but we will as easy understand English or German or French or Spanish and now the newest generation even Chinese.

  15. Not learning the language of your partner is just pig ignorance, especially when you are living and working in their country.

  16. I really like languages and if I ever had a foreign partner I'd definitely use them to learn the language.

  17. I speak Dutch because of my ex and now I speak Chinese because of my Chinese lover. Dating people from different nationalities makes me being polyglot 😂😂😂

  18. I don't have that problem, I travel wherever with my husband. Problem is to watch out, he is too good looking!

  19. 1:19 – 1:29 me, a dutch girl: Ja wat wil je dan? (Yea, what else do you want?)

    Thats literally the first thing that popped into my mind. Anyone who can explain to me what the problem is lol im genuinely confused

  20. I am dutch an these vids from learndutch are realy offensive. So an American evilgelic is going to tell me that dutch people are rud. You know what… Dutch people don't sperate children from there parents like christian Americans do. We don't have concentration camps on our boarders. We don't have a president who fucks pornstars while wife is pregnant. You should realy get you shit and fuck of to your shithole country USA and do some evilgelic work there…. Hypocrits.

  21. Nice! Gives and leaves a very good impression. The music I noticed just like the last seconds only and this time even music fit well – a healthy positivity, not at all an "a cross-reactivity anecdote" to give a doubt. I live here in The Netherlands (came as foreigner from other EU country) and I agree to That's true what these people are speaking and life is pretty much as this. Language respect and curiosity, enthusiasm is the "juice" to just start squeezing out of yourself and that is gonna be done to you with well life-integrated methods that this highly developed country have in property. All you need is well-tuned-on nerves! 😉

  22. Im dutch and most things i hear is just not true, now u can see that the dutch people are all so different. Its just the type of person you've been with, everyone lives different lifes, some people are organised and some people doesn't know what to eat when its already 18:00.

  23. 3:20. Saying Dutch don't speak English very well. That is false. We speak it better than in most countries. XD

  24. So funny 😄 I love doing groceries with my Dutch boyfriend😅🙈 he’s always buying things that are “in de aanbieding” (discount)
    the word “korting” was one of the first words I learned

  25. So cool to actually hear there accents in english even change because they are together with a dutch person and speaking it daily probably. I love the effort they do to learn the langauge!

  26. Uhm…direct? So very much depends on the area. In the South for instance diplomacy is a must, so ‘being direct’ does not apply there.
    And for the rest of what I just saw in this video: based on the personal experience of a few people. Don’t really recognise any of it.
    Not for myself nor any of my friends or relatives.
    Example : “they don’t speak English”.
    Come on now. The Dutch are known for their language-switching-abilities: many foreigners I spoke to were trying to learn Dutch but noticed it was almost impossible cause everyone instantly started speaking English asa they picked up the slightest accent.
    Just saying…🤷🏼‍♀️

  27. most parents speak dutch english you know with the huge accent they dont even try to hide thats why you always hear if someone is dutch after 2 words

  28. Dating my SO for 2 years now. He's very direct and I appreciate it, we dont dance around what's wrong. I help him keep organized and he helps me not work myself to death.

  29. I'm Indonesian.
    My dutch boyfriend and I have been together 8months.
    He speak directly and to the point.
    My dutch bf drink a lot and never get drunk 😄😄😄
    #IndoDutchCouple

  30. I just realised: I'm so incredibly Dutch!
    On most of the topics, I can only see how effective we as Dutchmen are LOL

  31. Nee je moet lekker schijnheilig doen en achter iemands rug praten. Ik heb liever dat je het gewoon in mijn gezicht zegt

  32. Go to the south of the Netherlands, we are much nicer 😉 People from amsterdam or rotterdam, those regions, suck and have a big mouth. I bet some of them will call me out now haha stelletje huilanders

  33. T is grappig om te zien hoe snel deze mensen conclusies trekken terwijl ze waarschijnlijk maar 1 Nederlandse vriend of vrienden groep hebben gehad dus maar met 1 'soort' mensen zijn omgegaan

  34. That ex-husband wasn't being direct as a Dutchie, but being rude as an asshole. I'm Dutch, but if my guy would tell me: "oh wow you gained a few kilo's" …..

  35. I honestly would like to watch videos like this in Dutch, with English subtitles. How else am I going to learn it otherwise? 😂

  36. Borderline rudeness, yeah that isn't really accurate. Dutch people are direct, they say what they think and think what they say. It's a concept many others don't have nor can grasp.

    For a healthy relationship, regardless if it's for family, friends, love or even random people, communication is key. You get the most done and everyone involved knows what is going on and what needs to be done. It's a logical way to do things.

    Learning the language of your lover or friends is flattering, regardless of where you are from or what country your friends or lover is from. It's a clear sign of "hey, I try my best to work on our relationship as I feel it's worth it to me". Also, what the Danish girl said at the end is true, If you wish to be together you need to be able to understand each other. There for learning each other's language is a good thing for the relationship.

  37. why is that one asian's girl's country blurred out? xD (Red)
    like is she from north korea or something?
    are we not allowed to know that?

  38. Hahaha, telling your girl she gained weight isn't a Dutch 'thing'. Thats a jerk move no matter what culture. How could any situation possibly benefit from such a notion?

  39. Im Dutch, working in an international environment. Im ashamed of our Dutch rudeness. Bluntness is nothing to be proud of imho.

  40. I'm finished with Dutch girls and women. Please send me a Polish bride. Polish women are that traditional. They really take care for family and children.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *