Gender Discrimination: How girls are discriminated against at home

Gender Discrimination: How girls are discriminated against at home

alright, how were the holidays? good what did you do? stitching class who else went to this stitching class? everyone still have to go have you done something different? who did something different? I did what? baked plenty of bread different from all baked plenty of bread, and you? I baked bread as well, taught children
and took stitching classes anybody traveled somewhere? yes, we went to our grandmother’s house to eat mangoes we also learned photography
It was a five day workshop aunty, it was amazing it was the best activity
of our entire vacation what was it? aunty, it was a five day
photography workshop and 22 students
attended that workshop conducted by a world famous Italian
photographer named Giacomo Pirozzi and we learned a lot from him we enjoyed a lot anyone else? Who did something different? played any sport during holidays? no aunty nobody? didn’t even played ludo this time did your brothers played outside? yes, they hangout all day aunty, they don’t have any
such thing as a holiday everyday is a holiday for them did your brothers played outside too? do they work at home? no does anybody’s brother
does any work at home? sometimes he works at the shop any household chores?
like she said she baked a lot of bread he just refills the bottles and put’s them
in fridge and that too when I scold him otherwise never my brother doesn’t even picks up a glass why is it so? because mom tells him not to why does she tells him not to? because mom says, “you are a girl so
you should do all the housework and boys will be ashamed if outsiders
watch them doing housework” OK, so if outsiders watch then the boy
will feel ashamed for doing housework what were you saying? my mom has to scold him to put
the bottle in the refrigerator does she ever tells him to
bake bread like you do? no anybody else, whose bother works at home? he cooks his own food
when nobody is at home what can he cook, instant noodles? no, he prepares the dough and makes bread so when you’re not at home he cooks his
own food which means he knows how to cook his bread aren’t symmetrical
and sometimes a bit overcooked no problem, at least its edible yes yes one day after school I tried his bread how was it? it was fine so it was fine just
like food you eat everyday which means
boys can cook too but they don’t cook my brother makes very good tea but he doesn’t makes it everyday yes, because we make it ourselves why only girls have to work at home? because girls have to leave
their home after marriage aunty they say, ” if you can’t do it here,
how will you do it there” in-laws will complain so you’ll lose face? people believe such things aunty, parents say “learn all housework
here and if you don’t your in-laws won’t say anything
to you but taunt us instead” they also say, “they’ll beat you with a
stick and you’ll have to come back home” this discrimination must
be happening in every home yes aunty doesn’t it? yes some discrimination is always there Okay, so what is this discrimination
and why does it happen? alright, so there are so many
of you sitting right here can you show it in
a form of a skit? yes aunty alright, take these rough notebooks prepare something and then show me, alright Sheela where have you been?
you haven’t made tea? what are you reading? go make tea mom I also want tea yes son I’ll bring tea for you right away dad, tea Sheela give tea to your brother too what kind of tea is this?
do you want to kill me with such black tea? you’ll give such a black
tea to your father add some milk mom I did add milk then go, add some milk Hey! will you bring it quick Just sits in the kitchen take this where’s the snack? so you didn’t give anything with it? mom, am bringing what’s in snacks? biscuit I don’t want it dad, have some biscuit no, you even take this away spoiled my whole mouth Sheela, grab this tea what happened brother? I don’t drink this kind of tea mom prepare tea and snacks,
my friends are coming OK son, I’ll prepare it right now Sheela come quick and help me mom prepare the guest room fast Sheela prepare the guest room quick sweep properly why do you look at me like that? hey! Ratna hey! you all have come how are you? long time no see what should I do?
I was busy where were you busy? just walking around come sit mom why isn’t this room ready? I told Sheela then to ready the room Sheela! mom I have swept the floor is this how one sweeps? bring chair, quick my friends have come,
they are standing what kind of sister is she?
couldn’t even work quick what to do?
she doesn’t have a brain is this how one plunks down? it’s okay, no problem just brought only one by now no problem sit okay what’s up? what have you guys been doing? lets just go play
has been a long time you guys have some snacks then only we’ll go mom, bring snacks quick yes son, am giving Sheela, give them snacks bro I’m getting late and give good snacks give good biscuits isn’t there a table in home? (Sound Check) where’s the table? haven’t even brought the table
give it to me lets go drink then only we’ll go snacks is also coming no. I don’t want it have some you want some? no no I don’t want it lets go it’s getting late keep it here, she’ll pick it up mom yes son give me money
we’re heading out giving just now take it how much is it? 500 rupees only this much? yes son, keep this much only please give a little more no son, keep this much only just a little more OK, am bringing right now bring it quickly take this son alright I’ll come by evening, okay okay bye bye bye son lets go Sheela, you haven’t washed the dishes yet! mom, I have to tell you something Yes, tell me mom I want 100 rupees 100 rupees? yes for what? I have to buy something No, I don’t have 100 rupees but you gave 500 rupees to my brother he is my son mom I just want 100 rupees no, I don’t have any mom I have to go to the
market to buy vegetables alright, go and make sure you buy good vegetables okay hey look girls these days are being sent to shop that too a young girl all alone and their parents allow them, too Raveena hey Raveena what happened Jamuna? what kind of a woman are you? you send your young daughter
for shopping all by herself so what? you don’t know what’s going on these days,
don’t let her go outside and that too a young girl Jamuna, I only sent her to buy vegetables
and girls are better for this job no, you don’t know girls these days under pretext of shopping
she’ll go somewhere else yes Jamuna, you’re right be careful and keep her at home let Sheela come she has been hanging out a lot lately just let her come mom where did you go under pretext of shopping? I told you mom, I only
went to buy vegetables don’t lie to me, Jamuna told me
that you roam around no mom, I just went to buy vegetables don’t lie to me I’m not lying I’ll complain to your father about you but why mom? I didn’t go anywhere
except vegetable store enough, don’t lie to me hey mom yes son I’m exhausted what happened? we went for an outing,
give me a chair just bringing son give me a glass of water Sheela, bring a glass of water take this how was you day today, son? it was awesome, dad what all did you do? visited the mall mom yes son where did she hangout today? yes, don’t know where this peccant went? my friends saw her just let your father come home tell me if I didn’t get her married where did you go? at least say something I didn’t go anywhere brother I went to buy
vegetables that I know very well my friend told me everything where did you go? I went to the mall so you can hang out and wasn’t even hanging out I only went to buy vegetables you’re a girl,
just stay at home so what?
you’re a guy its your responsibility to
buy vegetables Sheela! this is how you talk to
you brother he’s your brother she doesn’t know who’s older
and who’s younger have you heard, how much of a stroller
your daughter has become? your daughter has become
such a stroller that she hangs around under
pretext of buying vegetables so why didn’t you stopped her? how would I know,
Jamuna told me that the one in the
neighbourhood? yes what was Sheela doing in
the vegetable market? what would I know you should know
you live at home my friends saw her hanging around I too have to complain what happened? you know Jamuna,
our neighbour? yes she told me that Sheela was hanging
out in the vegetable market what were you doing then? I was at home doing housework you sent her out alone? she told me that she’s going
out to buy vegetables so I allowed her and she is
better suited for that job call her
where is she? go get her Sheela why are you hiding here? what am I hearing? stand here why are you hiding? look how she’s hanging her face like she has done nothing is your brother speaking the truth? no dad, I went only to buy vegetables why should I believe you? that Jamuna aunty is lying I didn’t go anywhere except
for buying vegetables she never lies no mom, she’s lying I didn’t go anywhere else
except for buying vegetables dad, I didn’t saw her
but my friends did are they lying? your friends must have
seen someone else they are not blind from tomorrow you won’t
go out anymore (audio unclear) alright, so you showed
me your play now everybody tell me what have you
tried to show through your play does this happens in homes? yes aunty does everybody thinks so? yes aunty anyone who disagrees? and thinks that kids
exaggerated a bit no aunty, it happens people maltreats their daughter far worse
in reality than we have shown in the play this play is just the
tip of the iceberg alright, so you have
shown just a small part so we are talking about how discrimination
is done amongst boys and girls so you have shown how
discrimination is done boys can hangout
but girls can’t girl is doing housework but boy isn’t
in fact he’s so demanding (minor hiccup) so you’ve tried to show that
discrimination happens at home yes aunty So what does discrimination means to you? It means boys are given more importance one is given importance
and other isn’t due to which someone
is suffering like how you’ve shown Sheela that she doesn’t have
the right to go outside and has to leave her
studies to do housework so you are saying this
happens in common homes if a boy asks for 500 rupees,
it is given but when a girl asks for just 100 rupees,
it is not given and she’s even asked,
“why? why do you want it?” they don’t ask boys, “why do want it?
where are you going?what’s the matter?” nothing
“here son, have it” but when a girl asks, they
say, “what do you want to do? “what will you buy?”
this and that and when she finally buys something
then they don’t have any problem does this really happen? yes ma’am,
it does happen has anybody experienced this? that you asked for money,
you didn’t get it your brother asked for
the same but he got it? no, this never happened did it happen with anyone ever? no, not up till now aunty I have a younger brother whenever my father gets his salary he’s given a lot of money which
he spends irresponsibly and isn’t asked any questions
regarding his spending but when I ask my mom for money like to pay my fees or to buy
something that I need then she says,”what do you want to buy?
you should have told me then” even if I have that thing then
also I ask for some money which I can use in
case of emergency I even get that money and
keep it with myself too and after sometime she
asks me to return it but she doesn’t even ask my brother
where did he spent all his money if she asks the he says,”spent” then she says,”no problem, take it again” this happens why does this happen? you showed so many cases of discrimination
which happens at home maybe some friend of yours might
have discussed about this with you and you are also saying it happens why does it happen? so what? mother is also
a women, isn’t she? then also it’s happening at homes why does it happen?
what’s the reason behind it? should I tell aunty? yes aunty, the reason behind
it is that our parents says, “our son is our family
and he will continue our lineage and girls are here today but
one day they’ll be gone” since childhood they
are called an outsider that’s why they mistreat
her like an outsider they prepare her for
outsiders not for themselves girls are not going to
make their parents proud boys will continue the lineage and will make a new identity
that’s why he’s loved more you tell everyone must be having an
opinion about why this happens everyone should ask themselves, “this
happens with me but not with others” yes, you tell me
why do you think this happen? it’s because of our parents they
give different rights to each child parents give more importance to boys
it’s all their fault parent’s fault you tell
why does this happen? any unique reason that
ever occurred to you girls are considered someone else’s
wealth so they are given less importance they get the idea in their
childhood from their culture (minor hiccup) aunty parents give less
importance to girls because they know that their daughter
belongs to someone else which they estrange her from childhood since one day she’ll leave the house and won’t be there for
them throughout their life but the son will always live with them he’ll earn and will take
care of all expenses and also support them in their old age which is why they love their sons more fulfill all their wishes and hobbies set him free so that he stays happy
and will keeps us happy and will be there
resort in old age even if it doesn’t happen does everyone believes it? yes ma’am.
does it happen? why does it feels like that a girl
can’t do things that boys are doing? she can do it but they
are not given any chance first of all they don’t even
understand their daughters they have already estranged her and
doesn’t consider her as their own that’s why they even try to know about
her problems, wishes and dreams they are not even asked such questions like what’s her dreams, what makes
her happy they know nothing don’t even want to know and they ask about each and every
wish and dreams of the son so in this system, she says
that parents are responsible so are they really responsible
or is it someone else? parents are responsible children should be told from the
beginning that boys and girls are equal they should be told what’s
right and what’s wrong boys are never told about
what’s right and what’s wrong was your mom told about this? aunty, I’ll tell first it’s society’s fault,
then it’s parents’ fault it’s societies’ fault like it was shown in the play that one of hers neighbour provoked her that her daughter goes somewhere
else under pretext of market if she had asked her daughter about it or would have gone with her
daughter then she would know how can she even believe anyone and make her daughter stay at
home and not let her go outside which makes their life even more boring they are not even given a
chance to move ahead in life aunty, as we have shown in this short play that a neighbour comes to
the house and provoke her which parents believe very quickly but the first step
begins from home only of blind faith so instead of believing such things if they would have asked
their daughter politely and if she would have refused
that there’s no such thing then parents should at-least listen
to her and believe her always even if not always then also they
should investigate themselves because it’s wrong to
suddenly ground someone and people say anything so one
shouldn’t believe everything aunty I want to ask a question ask see aunty, a mother is a daughter too but when she’s having a baby then why does she say that she wants a son? I still don’t understand this it’s the same problem
which I just explained because a son supports their
parents in their old age and the daughters leaves
them after marriage daughters go and sons stay they expect that the son
will take care of them I once asked my sister this question so she told me that even my elder sister didn’t understood it she said she don’t know
how these women are maybe then she asked me if I become a mother what would I wish for? I said that I’m fine with
whatever god gives me your question was why do
parents only want a boy? they do so because it’s their mindset that girls will go so they’ll be all alone so if they are all alone, who
is there to support them? nobody so parents think if they have a son, he’ll
take care of throughout their old age he’ll earn and feed us their son, daughter in law and
grandchildren will make up a family it’s all because of this kind
of thinking as far as I think anybody else? yes you tell their thinking is so wrong no, I just explained the reason
why they think like that she’s telling the
thinking of our society you people tell what do you think? say anything you must be having an opinion when a girl is born then parents think that their
expenses have increased and we have to take her
responsibility till marriage aunty, when the girl
gets married, they say finally the burden has gone took a bath in Ganges what? took a bath in Ganges alright, now tell me
when a girl is born what’s the first thing parents worry about dowry in her marriage okay so you said dowry,
now what is dowry? it’s that when a girl will go after
marriage we’ll give her lots of stuff okay so that is also built in the system and why do parents give dowry? so that our daughters stay happy
and are respected by their in-laws so they don’t have any problem and their dignity is maintained also their mother in laws taunt them you haven’t brought this or that what has your parents given us? aunty the thing which
they fear most is that their daughters don’t
come back after marriage yes just give dowry and
make her leave yes how the system of dowry was formed? it has been in our
tradition for a long time how was this tradition formed? aunty, maybe it’s because people
at that time thought that the more dowry I give, the more
she’ll be be respected by her in laws that’s why they gave dowry but now everybody wants dowry I think in this discrimination
dowry is the biggest stigma okay so now tell me our question was that discrimination is happening if you want to take the girl it is only discrimination that you’ll bring dowry alright so how did dowry
came into the system how did this started that if a girl is getting
married, she should come with dowry? aunty I’m just telling what came to my mind aunty, like there’s a daughter she got married and she’s going to
someone else home and she’s going with dowry then there is a son when they’ll fix his marriage they’ll demand double dowry of what
they gave in their daughter’s wedding so that I get back my money so this is why it’s still happening here they take and
there they give why is it not fare to ask dowry from boys? so why isn’t their a rule, that someone else is
also coming to eat here so boys should also give dowry? girl is coming from a different house and she’ll come empty handed and she’ll come only when the
boy give her lots of stuff why didn’t this happen? this could have happened too only care is to be taken of the girl so boy should say, “I can give
this much so you give us your daughter” I won’t give what? I won’t give (audio unclear) there is discrimination here in-laws ask for dowry did you get the question? yes aunty as the girl is leaving we give her stuff so that when you go to that
house, you live with ease why isn’t the system made that the guy is getting married her wife will come so to make her life comfortable, the
guy should arrange lots of stuff because he has to keep her so
he should get all the stuff this system would have been better aunty, they think that the
boy has to live at home aunty, as far as I know society why they think that dowry
comes only with girls? because their entire they have to feed her I mean that the parents of daughter
get rid of that responsibility who’s parent have their own house or got
one inherited by their grand father I mean if you own a house you have and you have too yes aunty if you get married would you
own a share of that house? no aunty does anybody have? no only our brothers have what? bothers have a share why won’t you have a share? because they are boys and we are girls after marriage we have to
go to a different house because you have to go to a different
house so you don’t have a share and parents say that this is not your
house, you laws house is your real house my brother say this to me everyday what? he says its not your house just think that they say
this to our face at home that house in which we are
born,we are told it’s not ours alright they say from childhood from day one I mean from first minute you are living
in that house but it’s not yours alright, so if the house in which you
are born isn’t yours so whose is it? it’s your bother’s alright brother is the owner of
the house from childhood so that you mouth remains closed that’s what I think my opinion that girls don’t speak so they are given
some dowry and are told to leave you are not entitled
to this home anymore so they sent her off with dowry alright so now the house
belongs to the guy so the parent’s house
is now the boy’s house now parents expect their
son to have everything so now he’ll take care of us so it’s not all parent’s fault,
that’s how the system is our parent’s have been trained the same way that they’ll kick off the
daughter with some pennies and the house will belong to their son just like that we have all
our systems established when parent’s are going to die,
who’s going to conduct the funeral? son alright if parents have a job and if they die then what happens? unless their son doesn’t doesn’t have
good paying job in a compensatory ground usually their son take their job and it is very rare that if they don’t
have a son, their daughter take their job when their’s nobody then isn’t it? so this is how the whole system is built that you make boys very
strong in your family from the beginning? isn’t it? and your mother came after marriage is their previous home in
their name after marriage? no ask your mother at home about it my mom owns the house it’s in your mother’s name because I don’t have a father that’s why now the government has made a rule that registration of a house
requires both husband and wife alright, earlier this law wasn’t there only men used to own the house and what you were saying that when your mother
will go after marriage to their in-laws and
she will own the house there is no such system ever heard of a daughter
in law owning the house? no son owns the house alright, so this discrimination
is in our system now if a boy does something wrong outside
it wouldn’t bring any shame to the family but if a girl is shopping for vegetables
that is making the family lose it’s face so this all is our system, why? because we have to pack and sent
our girls to someone else’s house so we have to say that our daughter
is good and put a tag on her and it doesn’t matter how the boy is we’ll say it’s a boy and we’ll have a house he’ll feed us so that’s why boy’s have more fun if you think a little then you’ll realize
that our system is made that way and discrimination begins at home so
that girls don’t have much rights if you think about it then you
might realize that it’s wrong and unless you don’t realize this yourself that things are wrong you’ll become like it tomorrow you’ll get married and
you’ll also take dowry and move on when you’ll have kids then you’ll believe
your son more than your daughter isn’t it? things will happen
according to the system why? because that’s what you’re seeing so unless you question these things so if your mother denies you from going out just ask her, ” why I shouldn’t go out?” and when you realize that you
can’t go out but your brother can then what is he doing outside? isn’t he bothering other sisters? so you have to question this system then only you can remove
this discrimination if you think then only you
may realize why this happens anybody wants to say something? just share whatever you have in you mind yes you didn’t say anything aunty, I don’t have a brother,
what should I say? you don’t have a brother
alright since you don’t have a brother,
do you think this play is all wrong? aunty I have never seen this discrimination alright so you don’t have a brother do you think you are more lucky
than the rest Os the girls? aunty we are loved at home we are five sister and
are loved equally alright but these girls are also getting love they are getting love but there are something
that they are not getting which they seeing that
their brothers are getting I haven’t seen anything like that anybody wants to share her experience you tell I’ll share aunty I have a younger brother he does nothing, just
roams around all day he has no work even if you give him some work which he’ll do for at-most one or two days and my mom will say “don’t do it if you don’t want
to and do whatever you like” so he leaves in the morning and that too after having breakfast not empty stomach he’ll go after having breakfast
and come home at 10 pm he’ll sneak in quietly when everybody is sleeping he’ll come home and eat dinner she know that he has come
home and what will she do? she’ll bring cold water
for her beloved son don’t you question him of what he
does from morning till evening? I do, I ask him tell me one thing it’s something to think about like if he had some work so we can
say, “alright he’s doing his job” he hangs around all day and if somebody tries to
stop him or even say to at-least do some small
work which you might have how old is he? he’s about 16-17 he’s so young and how old were you when
you started working? I am older than him what was you age age when
you started working? I was around five to six years old oh my god just think about it, that a girl who
is five years old can work at home and then there’s a 16 year sold boy who’s
conscience even doesn’t say to him that my elder sister has doing work for
so long so I should do something too and I have to work at home and I also had to work my mother’s job
outside whenever she doesn’t work herself to help them I could do small task they made me do only those
task which I can do easily but she never told her
son to work at her place she never said that to him even at home when he eat’s something
he just leaves the plate there only then I say, “why should I keep it?” I also get tired he should pick up the plate he doesn’t do any work
that I should serve him if he does some real work and get’s tired
then I’ll myself give him a glass of water I can’t do anything about it and I don’t even care
when he get’s scolded this happens in families, doesn’t it? this thing is so common that your own friend is
experiencing all these thing so we need to raise questions that if it’s happening
then why is it happening? is it wrong? and if she think it’s wrong then
she might raise the question you should think think about it alright, thank you

5 thoughts on “Gender Discrimination: How girls are discriminated against at home

  1. जिस समाज ने महिलओं को शिक्षा से दूर रखा है इसलिए तो हम दूसरे देश से पीछे hai

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