One of the biggest obstacles you may face
when trying to meet new friends, or new people in general, is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable
that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place. Luckily there is a way to get around it. Today we will discuss how filtering, threading
and the pratfall effect can influence your conversations and transform you into talkable
and likeable person, so be sure to watch the video to the very end. Without further ado lets get started. First I need you to understand why awkward
moments happen? When you feel like you’ve run out of things
to say with strangers, you actually haven’t. You’ve simply run out of things that have
passed your internal filter of “things good enough to say to a stranger” This is a common behavior, the habit of filtering—holding
back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that
what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting. And this habit can really hinder your ability
to develop your communication skills. So how do we fix it? Fixing it is pretty darn simple it just requires
deliberate practice to remove the filter. This is the reflex that allows you to say
whatever goes on in your mind. So no more filtering, no checking with yourself
“would I sound cool if I say this?” None of that! Start to practice this ‘no filtering approach’
with people you kinda know and are not total strangers at first. It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed
to say whatever is on your mind, and that is totally okay. As long as you don’t say anything extremely
inappropriate that could land you in jail, you’ll be just fine! People don’t care too much about how “awesome”
what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on their own filters and thoughts. The second very powerful technique I want
to talk about is Threading. Threading is essentially branching off the
conversation in different directions. For example if you get a response like “I
went to London last year to intern for 6 months” You could ask if they liked London, which
company they went to, what is their field of work, or you could shift the focus of the
conversation, you could respond with “Really? I went to London last year too” or “I like
to visit London one day, I love traveling!”. You could continue the conversation in multiple
ways using the threads that are provided, for example continue talking about London,
talk about the company or field of work, or maybe talk about your own internship experiences
– you could literally talk for hours starting from that simple response. Just be creative and remember the first technique
to remove your filter when talking with them. If you want you can stop the video here, because
those 2 techniques alone will make a drastic change in your conversations, but I will give
you a third psychological tip that you can use to literally make yourself instantly more
likeable and easy to talk to. It’s called the Pratfall Effect. And it states that your likeability increases
if you aren’t perfect. When people see that you are not perfect and
you make a mistake you appear more human, more like others and so more likeable. People who are perfect can seem threatening,
but people who are imperfect are safe and hence easier to truly like. If you want to be liked and easy to talk to,
make mistakes sometimes (or just admit to error), but do it in context where it’s safe,
don’t do it in front of your boss thinking he will like you more. You’ll just get yourself fired. The beauty in these tips is that they work
together perfectly. When you remove your filter, you will say
things that come on top of your head, and you will make mistakes and blunders. By doing so the Pratfall Effect will start
to do its magic, people will like you more and they will open up easier because you seem
more human, they will talk more giving you more threads and branches that you can lead
the conversation into. More branches lead to deeper conversations
and increased likeability. It’s a cycle where it only gets easier and
easier. The main thing I want you to get out of this
video, is that you shouldn’t get stuck inside your head thinking that the world will end
if you say something silly, it won’t, it will barely get noticed because people have trouble
with their own confidence, filters and thoughts. Just talk about what you want to talk about,
crack a joke if you feel like it, don’t try to appear perfect, because no one is and I
assume being one would be lonely and no fun at all. I hope the video helped you in any way, if
it did you can always click the like button. Anyway thanks for watching and I’ll see you
next time.


  1. filter is the obligation for having qualified conversation. i think you can only remove the filter when with your close friends. otherway i can't resist to exuberance.

  2. I’m literally crying over the fact that I’ve been looking up how to be confident, social and not shy. I wish I didn’t have to look that up, these videos aren’t even helping me 😭

  3. im gonna say whats on my mind:
    Why does men cologne always last so long everytime i put on perfume i like it but hours later its like i never put it on! so unfair! 🙁

  4. When i talk to my friends i don't run out of things to say but when i talk to other people that i don't really know much i run out of things to say. Why is that?

  5. Yes, remove your filter. But just a reminder that common sense is a thing. So don't go call people ugly or dumb or anything. Also, it really depends on who your talking to. Trust me, I'm a random person who commented under a video.😂

  6. I do all these things already when out and about. When it’s hard it’s when I’m being supervised by my boss or others at meetings things get a bit more intimidating 😒

  7. "Removing The Filter" is HORRIBLE advice. In today's snowflake culture of outrage and safe spaces speaking your mind on many subjects in mixed company with people you don't know can get you in a heap of trouble. At best, shunned and alienated. At worse, beat up or arrested.

    Stay away from topics of religion, politics, sex and gender. Stick to sports, travel and hobbies. If all else fails…talk about the weather. 9 out of 10 people couldn't start a conversation without it 😁

  8. Me going to talk to this cute boy

    Me: hi
    Him: hey
    Me: ᵂᴴᴬᵀ'ˢ ᵞᴼᵁᴿ ᶻᴼᴰᴵᴬᶜ ˢᴵᴳᴺ
    *ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs *

  9. I try to lose the filter thoughts and it makes my life even more awkward than before. Idk if this helped me or not but I also learned the art of stoic, which is basically not giving a shit.

  10. Dude I followed you're tips and now I'm saying stuff like water isn't a human right is a beautiful quote and that newton's laws are fake during physics cuz then flat earth would be curved.

  11. I don’t know how to make a conversation without asking too many questions .. does anyone else have the same problem

  12. I always talk to ppl for years, none of them, not even once came to talk to me first… ever, i think i'm doing something wrong or it's them that they are thinking whatever they are thinking and it makes me feel lonely

  13. This is one of the biggest things that people struggle with in networking situations. Great video and well worth every second of time spent watching.

  14. From experience, talk about something you truly love

    That's exactly what i do to overcome such a problem, once i bring up a law subject i slowly get concentrated to the point my anxiety disapears as i feel comforable, speaking fluently and smoothly, and confident to debate.
    because it's a subject i love talking about :,)

  15. I'm actually really good at talking to people but I seriously need help when I'm with my crush because I get so nervous

  16. don't respond with I went to London too at least he has end his story about London. believe me if you do all about yourself it will not turn out good.

  17. My conversations:

    Me: Hey
    Random Person That Shouldn't of talked to me: Hey
    Random Guy: Nice Jacket
    Me: cool
    Random Guy: …

    Me: DaaMMmmmiitTttT

  18. I was on my way to school with a friend. It got quiet and i just said to her. Potato

    She said what. I said what. And then we had a conversation.
    Try Doing this! 😂

  19. I’m really good at keeping conversations going, I’m just anti social because I feel like people don’t care about what I have to say

  20. Nobody talks to me, I don't know how to talk to people, when I try I come off boring and I overthink every question/answer ._.

  21. A couple days ago I was witth my friends dad just sitting in the bleachers kind of awkwardly watching them practice and then he just says smthing about him being in the air force 21 years and stuff and then we talked for like 2 hours straight it was a really fun conversation and I litterally have no clue why I wanted to share this with you guys but yeah lmao

  22. My teachers told my parents I’m very quiet in class and now they are yelling at me because of something I’m born with. Please comment down some tips for me I really need them.

  23. ….I talk to people and face them confidently saying in my head “say what’s on your mind and you won’t have a problem” but we start to talk and I have to make eye contact focusing on the eyes and I get so nervous my voice shakes sometimes 😅how do I fix that… then I feel like I have to look away…and then it gets awkward

  24. damn, 358 people really came back to this video and disliked it just because there date with their crush didn’t work out

  25. ok but how do you have conversations with people on text or phone calls, i struggle with that A Lot and usually my conversations end up like
    -nothing wbu
    -same. how was your day? whatd you do?
    -oh good, and (what they did) wbu?
    -oh nice! mine was good too, and i (insert what i did). what are your hobbies?
    -(insert the persons hobbies here) wbu
    -(insert my hobbies here)

    and then thats like. It

  26. Remember that scene from pulp fiction where she was like “why do people feel the need to yak about bullshit in order to feel comfortable.” Shes right. I have a lot of comfortable silences with strangers, you shouldn’t force a conversation by scanning for topics to talk about, sometimes it’s better to just sulk into the vibes you give off to eachother.

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