Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude | Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague

Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude | Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague

Translator: Ellen Maloney
Reviewer: Samuel Titera I’ve something very important
to tell you today. I’m so glad I was invited
to this particular TEDx meeting. I really am, because
it’s all about dreams, and that’s what it’s all about, and no kidding, that’s all I do. I also drink water. When I was about 36, I had just gotten through a very bad year. I’d gotten a divorce, I had no money,
I was in New York City, I had two very small children. I couldn’t get a day care center,
so I couldn’t take a job. We stayed in welfare hotels in New York;
that’s worth writing a novel about. They have cockroaches,
so I would tell the kids, we could name the cockroaches, and we played “early computer games”
with cockroaches on the wall. (Laughter) But we got a day care center, I got a job, we got an apartment,
and the kids were in school. And I was washing dishes
when I was 36, and I thought, “By God, we made it.” The kids were great, I cried a lot, but we did it. We did it, that’s good,
I’m proud of myself. And then I had another thought. I thought, “Is this it? Is that what I get? Is my gravestone going to say, “Her house was frequently clean for very brief periods of time?” (Laughter) I was going to do something;
I don’t know what. I didn’t have particular talents, I wasn’t very good at things. But I figured, I just have a bad attitude, because that was about the 60s,
and everybody learned about positive thinking,
and “believe it and you can achieve It,” and “create your own reality,” I thought, “Hey, 36,
maybe I’m really old and ugly and nobody will ever love
me again, okay. But that’s not so old;
I might live a while, I’m going to see if I can figure out
what the hell my dream is and go get it!” So I went to everything. I stood in rooms where
they all stand up and say, “I can do it! I can do it!” And I did that, but I still couldn’t do it. And they said, “Think positive”,
they said, “Create your own reality”. I didn’t believe that, and you know what? I was raised in the 50s. In my day, if you said
you could influence the universe to do what you wanted, or turn peoples sentences
backwards, we called a doctor. (Laughter) I am not a “New Age” lady;
I am an “Old Age” lady. And so I just gave up. I thought, “Well, I guess
I’m going to be average; somebody’s got to do it.” And I tried to forget about it. Then something astonishing happened
that didn’t just change my life; it has already, in the ensuing years,
changed the lives of thousands and thousands of people. And that all started in my second job. I had a job in the evening
where I ran an “encounter group”. Encounter groups were something
that the psychiatrist had learned in the drug program, 
where people attack you, until you cave in, and they scream
at you, and yell at you, and you holler at them,
and everybody feels better. I was there and he said,
“You’re hired; you can be a leader.” Because I was good at it; in my family,
we always hollered at each other. (Laughter) It was a natural ability,
I didn’t think much of it, and I had groups every night after work. I had one on Tuesday night, which is going to go down in history. In this group there was somebody named Ronnie. Well, that’s what I call him. I’ve been telling this story
so long I don’t remember his name. Ronnie was different. We used to call him “Type B”. He didn’t have any feelings
he was aware of. He came because we were
basically his social group. But he leaked hostility. It just came out of him, and everybody laying their eyes on him
really wanted to hurt him. We had to walk him home after the group,
but we were used to him, we liked him. And he was very valuable. Because people would come in
who couldn’t get to their feelings, this one woman came in and she said, “I quit law school to put
my husband through law school; I became a waitress,
and put him through law school and then after that, he divorced me, and married somebody younger and prettier, and took the house and everything. Naturally, because he’s a lawyer
and I couldn’t afford a lawyer, but that’s okay I guess, you know, if I wasn’t enough. But now he wants the kids because he says he can give them
a better life, and he really can, but I feel funny about it.” I was looking at the group
and they were going “Grr!” I said, “Listen, you’d better get angry, or they’re going
to find him and kill him.” And she said ‘I’m not angry.” I said, “Try.” She said, “I’m angry, I’m angry.” I said, “Ronnie, would you put
your fingers in your ears?” He did. I said, “Look at Ronnie.” She said, “Eww, I wanna smack him!” (Laughter) And she said, “Ronnie,
what do you dress like that for? You idiot!” And she switched over to her husband
and she got mad at him, and she just went off like a volcano. Oh, it was so satisfying
for everybody in the room. (Laughter) When she was done,
she looked strong and calm like you do when you get to your feelings. She said, “I can’t believe
I’m letting him get away with this!” And she said, “Oh Ronnie, I’m sorry!” He said, “I’m always glad
to be of service.” So, he was very helpful. When I’d have a go-around
I’d say, “Do you want to work tonight?” Somebody would say, “I had a fight with my boyfriend,
I’d better work on my feelings,” and I’d say, ‘What about you?” And they’d say, “No, I’m good.” I’d say, “What about you, Ronnie?”
just out of politeness, and he would always say, “I’m fine.” This particular night
that shall go down in history, I said, ‘How are you doing, Ronnie?”
and he said, “I’m depressed.” I said, “Oh! A feeling! Um… Why are you depressed?” He said, “I hate my apartment.” I said, “Why don’t you get another one” They were very easy
to get then, very cheap. He said, “I can’t get another apartment
because I’m too depressed.” I said, “I think I fell for something.” And someone raised her hand and said,
“You didn’t fall for anything. If you saw his apartment,
you’d be depressed too.” I said, “Oh. Reality. I like reality. Okay, why don’t you guys go out,
get a Village Voice, and find him an apartment, we’ll have a painting party,
I’ll bring a potted plant, and if he’s still depressed, I’ll send him to somebody
who’s had some training.” And they said “Okay!”
and they brightened up. You have to understand,
these were neurotic New Yorkers. New Yorkers do not mind
showing you that they’re neurotic. I was raised before that in Los Angeles
and they’re crazy too, but they cool it. In New York they go, “I’m neurotic!” They don’t care. So these people cheered up,
you could see it. They went out, got an apartment,
we had a painting party, it looked great, and the next week we had a go-around
and I said, “How are you, Ronnie?” He said “I’m happy!” I said, “Wow! That’s great!
“OK! So who wants to work tonight?” He said, “Wait a minute.” I said, “Yeah?” He said, “Well now I want a woman.” (Laughter) I said, “A woman?” He said, “Yeah, “I have
a place to entertain now.” We had to be emotionally
honest in these groups so somebody, a woman, said to him,
“Ronnie, women hate you.” (Laughter) He said, “I know; fix me.” (Laughter) And they said, “Fix you?” I said, “Why not? What the hell!
Stand up and let’s take a look.” Ronnie, he didn’t look good. He had one positive attribute:
he was extremely clean. That’s where it ended. His pants fit wrong. He looked wrong. He talked wrong. So the women took him to the store
and got him better clothes, and the men took him to the gym
where he could stand up straighter and not be in danger all the time, and when it was his turn
to work on Tuesday nights he would stand up and try
to pretend he was, basically, a human. Somebody would come
to him and say, “Hello,” and he would say, “H-u-llo!” And she’d say, “Not like that,
that’s disgusting!” He’d say, “Give me another try,” and finally after about six months, he said, “I think I’m
as good as I’m going to get.” We looked at him
and said, “I think it’s true. “Okay, let’s set a date for a party
and let’s go find some women.” After that, everybody would
come in every week saying, “I got one! I was in the supermarket and I saw
this woman standing there; she had one can of cat food
and one frozen dinner, and I said, ‘You want to go to a party?” Someone else said, “I was walking
down the hall of my apartment building with trash, and I heard somebody crying. I saw too many wine bottles in the trash,
so I knocked on the door and someone came
to the door and said, ‘Yes?’ I said, “You want to go to a party?” (Laughter) We got innocent visiting cousins
from Ohio, and we had the party. It was a triumph. Nobody talked to Ronnie. (Laughter) But he’d learned how to make
hors d’oeuvres, and he was very happy. And when it was over I said,
“You know what, guys? Keep throwing parties; you never know,
Ronnie could find somebody. But it’s good for everybody, I want you
all to do it, it’s good for everybody!” They said okay, and they did! And he found somebody. She was actually quite cute to look at,
but she was very peculiar in her head. But, hell, it was Ronnie,
and so we were very happy. They didn’t come as often, but she would drag him in to confront him. She liked that idea. And I don’t remember what
she would confront him for, except for one thing,
and this is what happened that night. She came in, dragged him in,
somebody had been working, her dog had died and she was crying. When she saw them come in
she said, “It’s okay, I’ll wait. They walked in and I said,
“Yeah what’s up?” she said, “I have to confront Ronnie because he uses too many adjectives
and I think he does it on purpose.” And I looked at her and I said, “I wouldn’t take that
from any man; take him down.” So she went, “I’m angry, Ronnie!” And he said, “I’m sorry!” Then they were done,
they hugged each other, they walked out of the room,
they were so happy. Somebody looked at them
and said, “What a pair of dingbats.” I said, “What’s wrong with this picture? Ronnie is the only person in this room with a good apartment, who is not
sleeping alone, including me.” I said, “Listen, listen. What if we got together every week
and you told us what you wanted?” “We don’t know what we want.” “Well, we help you figure it out and then we made you do
what you want to do? I mean the world makes you do
what you have to do; you have to pay your taxes,
you have to show up, what if we made you do
what you want to do? You could have your dream;
you could have any dream!” They said, “Barbara, we’re too neurotic.” I said, “What are you talking about? We could put a man on the moon,
we got Ronnie a woman!” (Laughter) And we did it. Amazing things started to happen. Right in that group, we got somebody
into law school and through law school, and she started a law firm
with another woman. Somebody adopted a kid,
and somebody went to Cairo. We got wonderful things. So, my wish was to create a workshop,
and I did, and everybody helped me. I went around the country; didn’t make
money but I had a lot of fun. I went around the country teaching people how to be
in these Success Teams, because they were just great. Then at the end, I’d say, “I’m going to prove it to you;
give me an impossible dream.” These are all true stories,
I couldn’t make these up. I was in Greenville, North Carolina, and I said, “Tell me an impossible dream;
I want to show you something.” A woman stood up and said,
“I want to dance with Patrick Swayze.” That’s from “Dirty Dancing.” So you could hear women say, “Yeah, you and every other
woman alive on earth.” Another woman waved her hand. I said, “Does anyone have ideas?” A woman raised her hand, and said,
“Patrick Swayze’s mother has a resort 30 miles away; I work there weekends. He comes Wednesday,
I’ve danced with him, I’ll take you up;
you wanna dance with him?” (Laughter) (Applause) That was nothing. Somebody stood up, she was crying,
she said “I want an animal refuge for old dogs and old animals. They just don’t get treated. It’s terrible, even farm animals,” I just said, “What’s your obstacle?” I’m going to teach you
about “wish and obstacle”; that is the secret. If you don’t learn it, nothing happens. I said, “What’s your obstacle?” “What’s my obstacle?! I don’t have any money, land, license,
any training; I have nothing. I can’t do it!” Someone waved her hand, they always do, and said, “My friend’s mother
just was in an auto-accident, she hurt her back, she won’t be able
to run her refuge anymore. She can’t find anybody
young to run it for her. She’s got a license, the money, the land,
she’s even got the animals!” (Laughter) And it wouldn’t stop. Oh God, I’ve got so many. There was a woman
in a group and she said, “I make harps; I make them from a special
kind of wood they have in England, and now it’s gone. The last tree is gone. There is no tree left,
I can’t make any more harps!” Someone in the back
raised her hand and said, “Are you talking about such and so?”
and she gave a Latin name, and she said, “Yeah!” She said, “My brother has a big stand
of those in Australia. Come back here, I’ll give you his number.” Every time; it never fails. This is a funny one; there was a lady in New York,
a very weird looking lady, and she got up in the aisle, and said, “I need a chimp.
I’ve got to rent a chimp.” I said “What? “I’ve got to rent a chimp.” I said, “A chimpanzee? You want to rent?” She said, “Yes.” She said, “What I do
is during lunch hour, I go through the big corporations
with a chimpanzee and a bunch of cute toys for kids, and everybody comes out into the corridor
because I have a chimpanzee and they buy all the stuff. The chimpanzee costs me about $200 a day,
and I sell about $400 a day, so I’m making a living. But they just raised chimpanzee rentals
up to $600 a day; I’m out of business!” A woman in the back,
dressed very nicely, said, “I think we can do better than that.” I said, “You rent chimpanzees?” She said, “Yes, and giraffes,
rhinoceroses, and horses.” (Laughter) I said, “In New York City?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “Why?” She said, “This is where
the commercials are made. We’ve got trainers too. We’ve got everything.” I thought, “Blow me down. You never know who you’re talking to!” We’re all the center of enormous amounts
of information and connections that we don’t need
and we don’t think of, unless somebody asks us. I began to realize that I had found
the absolute guaranteed secret to success, and – boy! – did it have nothing to do
with positive thinking. Oh boy, nothing. (Laughter) Here’s the punchline: Isolation is the dream killer,
not your rotten attitude. You can hate yourself,
you always do, you know it. You wake up and go, “I’m fat.” You know you do that. If you wake up in the morning
and say, “I’m here!” your wife will kill you
in your sleep tomorrow night. (Laughter) And I’ll help her. You can’t walk around faking feelings,
I mean to yourself anyway. I just feel bad that everybody started it. That says, “Cross out Positive Thinking.” And this says ”Here’s a team.” Right? Not necessarily closest
friends or parents, because they’ve got attitudes about you. Strangers are great, absolutely great. So here’s what you do: You get a team. You figure out what you want,
and then you say, “Here is my wish,
and here is my obstacle. Here’s what I want,
and here is why I cannot have it.” If you don’t say both those
things, nothing happens. We are problem-solving animals. If you say, “I’d love to be a ballerina.” Everybody goes, “Mmm.” If you say I’d love to be a ballerina,
but I’m 44 years old. Every mind starts working. Even if people don’t like you,
they’ll solve your problem: “I heard about, 44-year-olds,
there’s one in Boston. There’s a new ballet troupe, I read
about in a magazine, I’ll find it.” People want to help. Amazing things will happen to you. I’ll give you my last stories
because they’re so good. Someone called me from Toronto. She was a Success Team
leader and she said, “We have an accountant in Toronto,
I have to tell you the story. We had a group with six people;
there were five women, and this guy. He was so helpful;
he knew everybody in town, he got them bank loans,
he introduced them to everybody. But he never wanted anything. Finally they said, “Listen,
you have to tell us what you want. We can’t take anything from you anymore!’ And he said, “I can’t tell you;
it’s too stupid, you’ll laugh at me.” They said, ‘Oh no, absolutely not. Barbara Sher says, “You never laugh at anyone’s dream.” He said, “Okay, well,
I want to be a cowboy.” So naturally they all laughed. (Laughter) Someone said, “What’s the obstacle?” He said, “What’s the obstacle? I don’t even know if there are cowboys,
I liked cowboy movies as a kid and I wanted to be one, that’s it. I don’t know if there are cowboys. Second, I’ve got a business;
I can’t walk away hoping to find a cow. What are you talking about?’ Someone said, “Wait a minute,”
and called her roommate. She remembered her roommate
had an uncle in Alberta who was a rancher. And soon he called. And we said, “Turn on the speakerphone.” The guy said, “I hear
you’re an accountant. I’d like to fly you out one
week a month to do my books.” And the accountant said,
“You can do it online.” He said, ‘I know, I don’t want
my business on the internet.” And then the women kicked him
and he said, “I want to be a cowboy.” He said, “You can be a cowboy;
just finish in a couple days, and you can on a drive
we always have them.” He said, “You have cowboys?” He said, “Yeah, if you had steak
this month, somewhere there’s a cowboy.” So he did it. He sent back photographs. He went out, he became a cowboy, and he does his Toronto
accounts on the Internet. But the best story of all, and the one
I want to tell you most of all, happened in Memphis in the summer. August was very hot, and I was asking
for impossible dreams. A woman in the front row raised her hand, and I said, “Yes, what is your wish
and what is your obstacle?” So she said, “I’m tired;
I want to go on a cruise.” “Okay, what is your obstacle?” And she said, “Well, I have three: money,
I have a sick daughter at home, – an adult daughter, I can’t leave her
for a second, I could hardly get here – and I’d rather not mention the third.” And before I could ask
if anybody had an idea, a guy came running up the aisle
in a white t-shirt with a number on it, a pair of shorts, waving a piece of paper,
and he grabbed the mic and he said, “I ran for the Heart Association
this morning and I won a cruise for one. My wife isn’t going to let me go
on a cruise for one; you take it!” Everyone got excited and applauded
that she had her cruise and didn’t have to worry about money. She said, “That’s sweet,
but I really can’t leave my daughter.” A woman on the aisle raised
her hand and she said, “I’m a public health nurse
and every year, to keep our license, we have to give ten days
of pro-bono free work, and I haven’t found anybody
and it’s already August, so can you use ten days?” Everybody got excited and I said, “I think you’re going to have
to tell us your third obstacle.” “Well, it’s embarrassing,
but my daughter’s in bed because she’s been physically
injured and she’s frightened. Her ex-husband is stalking her.” And the room fell silent. I mean everyone thought, “Oh, shit!” A voice came from the back of the room. I never saw this man’s face, I will never forget his voice, he said, “I’m a cop, what’s his name?” (Laughter) She went on the cruise. But here’s what I want to tell you: We depend on each other’s
dreams coming true. What do you think’s going to happen
now that she went on that cruise? It’s just a cruise. But her daughter’s going to get well;
she’s not scared anymore. Her daughter’s going to become a teacher. She’s going to understand
kids who are scared. She’s going to understand kids who are
physically scared because she gets that. Every time you make someone else’s
dream come true, it echoes. No magical New Age way,
it echoes in practical, wonderful ways. You have to, you have to. You have to figure out what you want,
you have to ask for help, and you have to remember
“wishes and obstacles.” And you have to let people help you because you have to go after your dreams,
and never tell me you can’t do it. Just remember: we got Ronnie
a great apartment in New York and a woman, a crazy woman,
that he loves with all his heart. We can do anything. That’s what I wanted to tell you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude | Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague

  1. That is what I call the power of the people, we together can do so much, no government, no money, no body can do so many wonderful things like the power of the collective people, But divided we cant do much.

  2. What an inspiring talk! I've long known that it's people who create miracles for others by giving practical help when needed. The misguided notion held by many, of a supernatural solution is offensive and unhelpful. Barbara, you are a kind and dear very wise lady.

  3. Here I am.. 31, no friends, very lonely, social anxiety. I was hoping i could find happiness within (someday), but i guess I'll be sad and lonely forever.

  4. Wow. Thank you. 💗❣️
    So, what’s my dream & what’s my obstacle?
    I want to dance 💃🏼 (couples’ dances), I want to sing 🎤 🎶 with a live band. Obstacles – training, ankles, money. Thank you All for hearing.

  5. I love, love, love you! Where have you been all my life? I needed this talk. I want to start a success team in my community. Great idea!

  6. What an unusual inspirational talk…very different from anything else I have seen/heard in a long time. Finding such a group is my dream, and the obstacle is that I don't know how/where to find one.
    Anyone…? LoL…!

  7. Should start a club in a college called the "Barbara Sher" club, in which this sort of thing happens. We would invite people to come and share their problems and dreams and desires, and then talk about them to find what was their obstacle, and talk about how to make it happen. I think the biggest obstacle is admitting what you want and believing it's possible. I think that's why Barbara gave such a list of random requests that were successfully resolved, if you ask for it in a way that you believe it is possible, then your immensely more likely to achieve it. How perfect that this started in New York.

  8. I wish YouTube would recommend me this FANTASTIC video in 2016. But better 3 years late than never. This is gold. I wish I had a friend like Barbara.

  9. This is absolutely staggeringWhat an amazing person and conceptEvery new age dingbat like Esther Hicks and  Marianne WilliamsonAlong with every supposed mystic from India or wherever should have to watch thisThis is real stuff

  10. I came back to this video because of getting notification that someone liked my comment, this time I read all the comments below and found that others had the same reaction to this talk as I did. Her message does hit home in a deeper way than those inspirational, motivational messages that we should just pick ourselves up by our boot straps and go get what we want.

  11. This is definitely true because since I've started going to 12 step meetings I've seen people go from homeless and desperate to paying their own bills with money to spare, not to mention clean and sober! Because when people share about their problems, people who know solutions talk to them after the meetings. It's wonderful. Nobody deserves to be isolated, everyone needs a support group.

  12. My wish is to figure out what my purpose is. My obstacle is that I have no idea how to figure this out! …been trying to problem solve this one for years…if anyone has the answer I would love the help. I so enjoyed this vid!

  13. I love this watched it twice now I really could do with one of these groups I've isolated myself for about 6 years now and losing sight of what I once had in my dreams and head to do and be :/ pls help me

  14. 🦋so important to remember that you won’t be given what you can’t handle, so overcome your obstacles with grace and rise above it

  15. What about if your dream is that you want to go to heaven, you can't arrange a date and suicide is a sin so that's out of the question.

  16. Very inspiring stories… what happens when people don't trust strangers to have their best interests in mind? It's nice to think that strangers are willing to help you get what you want. (of course, you do the same) But in reality, people have conflicting ideas of right and wrong, moral ideas, that sometimes can lead you into deep trouble just for voicing your desires… I get the feeling that it's not just isolation that harms someone, but isolation from "like-minded", "similar morals" people. Which may be much rarer to find than just any stranger. The people in the stories sound like gems! We should all be so lucky to find such well-fitting people.

    Maybe the key is to help other people do what they want, even if you don't like the thing that they want. I'm not sure I believe that most strangers would do that for me. Even if my intentions are to help, I'm not even sure I could even do this for someone else.

    Maybe the freedom to yell at the people you disagree with or are offended by (like she talked about) blunts all of those hostilities! So finding/creating the space where it's allowed would help.

    (sorry for the disjointed thoughts, I'm adding points while thinking through things)

  17. A light hearted presentation of an important subject. Let's help each other and make our dreams come true. God Bless

  18. That's actually a wonderful idea (coming from a wonderful woman), who wants to start a band of dream makers ? 🕊🍀💖💫

  19. To whoever who's reading this……..
    Let's create a "WISH & OBSTACLES" group of our own… whoever's interested… me on my Gmail or here's my no. +919021322269

  20. I’m in a room all the time story of my life
    Growing up with family who lock me in the house abused me physical and emotional wouldn’t let me have friends or bf today
    They ruined my life
    I couldn’t even keep a job because of their abuse at home
    Then I met a bf who treat me the same and I’m pregnant 27 years old and I haven’t achieved any of my goals
    I wanted to be studying or modeling and my mum would scratch my face or friends would make fun of me
    I have no friends anymore people are selfish and I’m over it

  21. She has a unique way. But why was every so hard on Ronnie? She said people wanted to assault him on his way home for no reason other than he "leaked hostility." I'd really like to see what Ronnie looked like. I picture maybe a beaten down stereotypical nerdy guy with no charm. Why would anyone want to harm a guy like that? You'd want to help a guy like that, or at least remain neutral. Really feel empathy for him. Maybe he walked around with an angry look, mean mugging people without knowing it. Society is the problem, not so much Ronnie. The status quo is the problem. Leave people alone that aren't looking to harm others. Ronnie was bullied his entire life, maybe that's why he developed so many issues.

  22. Goodness she has a very dry mouth…….If I didn't know better I would say she is high Norco. Could not finish it…..Triggered.

  23. I think I'm gonna skip this message. I absolutely HATE saliva noises when somebody is speaking, I simply can't stand it. I guess it's just me, but it is the way it is.

  24. Society is cruel if you need money, society will give you just enough to survive if you lack food, society will give you something to eat, but if you lack company, society will make sure that it is practically impossible not to be alone because society does not wants his weakest individuals to die but to suffer and remain in a state of eternal parasitization without ever being able to transmit their genes

  25. Someone can recomend me a page where I can find one of this groups
    I actually live in spain so make sure they have groups here

  26. does she have any advice on finding a dream? am i the only person who struggles with that more than anything else, it’s so hard not to doubt what you want to do because who knows if you’ll want that in a month or year or anything

  27. Never met anybody who wants to help. Most want to know my story because they are nosey. As far as going out of their way to give a hand……Never gonna happen.

  28. That's how it happens folks. Just DO something! Just MOVE! Just TRY anyway you can. Take some action. Without action nothing will happen.

  29. I am from the East. This dream thing in the West made me wonder right from the beginning. I thought the West is the society who believes in statistics and mathematics. All of the data indicate only less then 10% people achieve their goal or dream. There is even English saying goes: “dreams do not come true”.

    So why people are so obsessed with the dreams?

    My approach is just work hard, improve your self. Don’t be static. Don’t miss the opportunity.

  30. My dream is to live on the beach and make a living with my youtube channel helping people learn from my life experience and my passion for dance fitness.
    My obstacle is not thinking clearly to learn how to edit videos quicker and other things to grow my channel that I just took an online course on. I think I have brain damage from repetitive head injuries and traumatized by working in a stressful environment for years and then caring for my husband as he slowly and painfully suffered this past year until he passed on.

  31. You are never ever alone with youtube, you get encouraged and not criticized. You can learn all sorts of skills at your own pace. You can learn anything😀

  32. Might as well try: Anybody in Oklahoma need help on their farm or homestead? I'll work-trade for a place to live in my camper and I'll kick in for utilities. I'm a pretty good gardener and I know a little Permaculture. Fancy hookups aren't necessarily required; there's a workaround for everything.

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