JUAN MARINE AND THE WHALE (THE TRAP) – SOCIETY OF VIRTUE


Miles away from the coast of Megalopolisville, way below sea level our three heroes find themselves in a humid and tight trap drafted by the sinister Turquoise Mollusk Juan, shouldn’t you be getting us out of here? Why? Because we’re in water? This is a trap, it’s supposed to be like that! That’s the goal! You don’t do that thing where you talk to fish? Talk to fish? Do you have any idea how racist that is? Do you or don’t you? I do So hurry up, we only have oxygen for another thirty minutes okay… Well it’s kind of empty here today There! What is that?
Looks like a whale! Yeah looks like it… Well, so you’re not gonna talk to it? Hum, I don’t think so… What do you mean? She’s too far Too far? Do you even have to yell? Isn’t it that telepathic shit ? What’s this too far bullshit? Let’s see if there’s any other fish around. This is the ocean, it shouldn’t take long Buddy, there’s a whale right there…
Call her! How is the fish going to get us out of here?? Fine! it’s personal I’d rather solve this some other way, can I? No you cannot, we are going to die you
idiot We went out a couple of times, are you happy now? Things got weird at the end and that’s it You fuck a whale? Isn’t that like
super wrong? Why would it be wrong? I don’t know isn’t it bestiality or something? No, no it’s not! It could be but it isn’t, it shoulnd’t Look, I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not exactly human I don’t know seems wrong or at least
very gross… I’m not going to explain myself to you! You won’t need to, we’ll be dead in 20 minutes Juan! Talk to her! What do I tell her? How am I supposed to know? I can barely talk to women of my own species How would I know what to say
to a whale ? Alright, why did you break up? I don’t, know we weren’t a fit… Well yeah, for that reason you shouldn’t have even started I can tell from here you’re not a fit In fact the only way you could fit, is if
you become her tampon! Just tell her anything, she’s leaving! Okay! She stopped! I think she heard you! What did you tell her? I’m not going to tell you, it’s personal Yeah it looks real personal She’s coming at us really quickly, she’s
either thinking “wow it’s Juan Marine I’ve waited so long or “wow it’s Juan marine, I’ve waited so long to crash my 8 ton body into him at a hundred miles per hour” Juan, who broke up first? It was a mutual decision Oh, fuck

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