Lady pills: Talking about HRT in a sexist society

Lady pills: Talking about HRT in a sexist society

I’m usually very private about my medical
history, but many of you have been with me for the duration of my whole “project”, and
I just see this as another chapter of our journey together. I started hormone replacement
therapy a little while ago, which means a lot more estrogen, and a lot less testosterone.
And plenty of people have asked me: What’s it like? This curiosity is completely natural
– I wanted to know, too! – and I would love to tell them about it. This is something the
vast majority of people will never experience, and there’s a lot for all of us to learn from
it. The problem is that there are so many issues that can get in the way of discussing
this and distort it into something completely divorced from reality. Talking about how it
feels seems like it should be the simplest thing in the world. Unfortunately, it’s far
more complex than you might expect. First, I haven’t been on HRT long enough to experience
any physical effects, aside from softer and clearer skin. It’s not magic – most of this
won’t happen in a week, or a month, or maybe even a year. At this stage, almost all of
the effects are mental. And paying attention to what’s going on in your mind is hard enough
already, whether you’re transitioning or not. Trying to pick out what might be due to your
shifting hormones is a whole other level of difficulty, and it’s really easy to fall prey
to the placebo effect. Sure, maybe I’m in a ridiculously good mood because of estrogen,
but that could just be the elation of finally getting started. Did I cry at a movie on the
Oxygen channel because of hormones, or was the movie just that good? I can’t tell, because
there’s no way to blind this sort of thing, and having a sample size of one certainly
doesn’t help. I’ve also relied on those around me to point out any differences they’ve seen
in me, such as being somewhat more expressive. If these changes are real, I might not always
notice them. We don’t “have” brains, we *are* brains. And likewise, we don’t just have hormones
– we’re made of hormones. It’s not easy to examine a phenomenon within yourself as though
it were distinct from yourself, because it really is a part of you. Of course, the people
around me aren’t blinded either, and they might also be highly attuned to any apparent
differences, and inclined to attribute them to hormones. And we might also only notice
what seems to be new, while failing to look for things that haven’t changed. People pay
more attention to the times you cry than the times you don’t. But figuring out what’s actually
changing is only half of the problem. Talking to other people about it presents a whole
new array of difficulties. We live in an incredibly gendered world, where so many behaviors are
classified as inherently male or female. Even when those behaviors are obviously and unavoidably
shared by both sexes, we still find ways to create artificial distinctions of gender.
Somehow, we’re supposed to believe that women are naturally drawn to the kitchen, but when
men grill up some steaks with their friends, that’s a “manly” thing to do. And when dolls
are dressed in G.I. Joe outfits, it suddenly stops being so “girly” to play with them.
Because certain behaviors are seen as being male or female in themselves, people look
for ways to connect this to male and female biology. And that’s where hormones come in.
When I describe how I feel now that I’m switching from testosterone to estrogen, it’s disturbingly
easy to fall into the trap of talking about it in a way that’s based on the common mentality
of “men do this, women do that”. And even if I do my best to avoid that, everyone who’s
listening will still be inclined to view this in terms of common stereotypes about men and
women – whether they know it or not. This is the result of all of us spending our entire
lives in a society that conditions us to think that men and women have a fundamentally different
existence. Just look at how the Nashua Telegraph described one woman’s transition: “Cynthia,
now 48, has developed a new love for chocolate and ice cream – possibly a side effect of
the hormones. And a half-hour isn’t enough time to get ready anymore.” Yes, because women
spend all day eating Dove bars and taking forever to do their hair. “Men, eh eh eh eh,
women, doo doo doo doo!” No. That’s not how the world works, and if we continue to believe
this, we’ve got a problem. Even just saying that I now feel more in touch with my emotions
comes with an absurd amount of gendered baggage. Not only will I be more inclined to attribute
this to HRT because of everything I’ve heard throughout my life about the supposed essential
natures of men and women, but those who hear it will take it as yet more evidence of “Ah,
yes, women are emotional creatures tossed about on the winds of their feelings, but
men are cold and rational!” If I didn’t make a conscious effort to think more deeply about
this, I might not have realized that what I’m actually sensing is a greater control
over my feelings – an ability to see them more clearly, observe their features, and
not be as unduly influenced by them as I used to be. If I hadn’t been able to put aside
those crude stereotypes about men and women, I wouldn’t have been able to communicate all
of that nuance to everyone who wants to know what this is like. So, is this a “male” or
a “female” phenomenon? If I’m a man, a greater grasp of emotions might mean I’m diplomatic,
understanding, and good at handling conflict. If I’m a woman, it makes me “sensitive”. Likewise,
if I were to point out that I now find it much easier and less stressful to deal with
cooking, cleaning house, and taking care of the kids, most people wouldn’t be able to
avoid seeing this as further evidence that women are somehow optimized for domestic life
and men are just naturally lousy at household duties, as illustrated by every commercial
ever. These beliefs are so pervasive and occluding that it would be easy to stop at that shallow
observation and ignore the fact that this just happens to be what I spend all day doing,
and maybe it only feels easier because *everything* feels easier for me now. Is it male or female
to be happy? If I’m a man, it makes me a stronghold of enduring optimism. If I’m a woman, it makes
me “perky”. This is why talking about HRT is such a minefield. Switching from male to
female hormones provides an ideal example that people can grab hold of and plunder for
anything they can use to reinforce their ideas about the attitudes, behaviors and abilities
to which men and women are “naturally” predisposed. Transitioning is about many things, but it’s
not about going from one stereotype to another. Hormones don’t do that, because no one is
that one-dimensional, trans or not. It doesn’t do us any good to pretend that this reflects
reality. The darker side of the assumption that a certain set of behaviors and preferences
define manhood and womanhood is the belief that the absence of these features makes someone
less of a man or a woman. When cis people don’t fit into this model, people use these
standards to strip them of their worth. And when trans people don’t meet these standards,
we’re stripped of our genders. This isn’t helping anyone. Perhaps because of the implication
that manhood and womanhood are inherently different modes of existence, I’ve been asked
whether I feel “like a new person”. I feel *different*, but that doesn’t make me an entirely
different person. It’s really not that stark of a division. This isn’t like being injected
with Borg nanoprobes that start whispering inside your head. It’s not like turning into
someone else. You’ll still be yourself. This isn’t a cure-all, it won’t make you superhuman,
and it won’t destroy who you are, either. It might just help you feel better, and if
it does, then this could be what works for you. The grass is the same color as it is
over there – I’m just seeing it a little differently now. And I’ll let you know if anything changes.

100 thoughts on “Lady pills: Talking about HRT in a sexist society

  1. I'm not advocating the use of hate speech, I don't know how you could interpret that. I said it's not sexism when a man is called a dick. It's prejudice, but it's not the systematic oppression of the male sex by the majority and/or privileged group, ergo it's not sexism. There's a distinct difference.

    You must not have been trying very hard because every one of your responses has a personal attack in it. That's not showing a lot of self-restraint or a desire to engage on an intellectual level.

  2. I didn't say it wasn't offensive. I didn't even use the word offensive. Nor did I imply a preference for it's use. You seriously need to work on your reading comprehension. I implied that it, like dick, is prejudiced, but does not constitute racism. PoC do not have the ability to systematically oppress white people because they are a marginalized and oppressed group themselves.
    So is it safe to assume that you've run out of rational ways to defend your argument now?

  3. He is giving an opinion, and so am I. I was not talking about free speech. I was talking about the implications of saying to people concerned about sexism or other forms of oppression, "You talk too much about that and it makes me uncomfortable. Please stop talking about it."

    He is free to continue saying it. He is also free to consider its impact.

  4. You're right, Zinnia. Hormones effect how we feel and its hard to pick out our reactions towards others and our own thoughts. Hormones have everything to do with signaling almost everything we do and our automatically do.

  5. Very good point, ZJ! While hormones interact with our body in a multitude of ways, the peace of mind and clarity of thought you feel is much more likely attributable to the excitement and joy at starting your journey than any hormonal differences between "men" and "women".

    I'm happy for you, my friend, and look forward to watching videos you post sharing the process with us. On a side note, I always take at least an hour to get ready.. guess according to that article, I'm a woman. Who knew?

  6. The fact that you're aware of the placebo effect makes your testimony more credible. Of course testimony (and a sample of one) don't make good science. Still I'm interested in hearing your experiences.

  7. i feel a little silly for asking this but is there a equivalent for females that want to be more manly. i know testosterone helps with growing a beard though is there some type of pill or treatment to encourage testosterone and male hormones. i can't find anything that will do this.

  8. Hormone replacement therapy! I tried to take a T reducer just because I was sexually frustrated and I wanted to expeirence not having T! The only reason I didn't was because I could not find any providers that would ship to my country!

  9. Oh course there is! If you really looked, you would find it. Are you seeking attention? Do you wish that you were male or something?

  10. i did just find it. late last night! XD i kept finding the pills for males to take but not for females. i even found a few natural ways though ya i'v been looking for around a week and figured to ask ZJ sense he mentioned it and i had been having no luck. and no its not for attention it for my own personal benefit and seriously i no longer give a fuck about what people think of it. from what i finally did find it would benefit me a lot with a little muscle and a beard. health wise basically.

  11. Science has found strong correlation between hormone levels (particularly in utero) and brain architecture. It continues to find correllation between brain wirng and behaviour/personality. This does not threaten our humanity.

  12. Also fascinating are ties between hormones and breeding patterns in apes over changes in social structure and environment. I agree that what Science if finding is not a threat to humanity. The tricky part still remains in the temptation to derive ethical standards from what is found in nature–either for or against. For now, we have to insist that individuals have a fair amount of personal latitude to explore these things in their own way.

  13. Thank you for sharing that with us; while I adore your rants about atheism and anti-theism and homophobia and everything, I think this might very well be one of my favorite videos of yours. It was so informative and insightful and philosophical and interesting all at once and made a ton of sense to me. It taught me a lot about Hormone Replacement Therapy and what it's like that I didn't already know. Thank you. 😉

  14. If you say that is incorrect to view men and women have a fundamentally different existence, then why do trans people exist? What would be the point of not accepting the gender you were born with, or 'were assigned to at birth'?

  15. On the contrary, trans people demonstrate that these are not fixed categories, but clusters that people can move freely between. How fundamentally different can it be when people can switch from one to the other?

  16. Hey guys, there's some GREY AREA in gender roles holy shit! Biological differences between men and women must be nonsense. *goes on HRT*

  17. Such a unique, exciting experience to have, congratulations and thanks for imparting this knowledge. Well put, all around.

  18. I have no idea what you mean by a Buffalo Bill-style mental disorder. I have a real mental disorder: I have schizophrenia. When I first got it, I thought I was just psychic and didn't need medication. Perhaps I am wrong and all you need to do is mutilate your body to happiness. I noticed that I received so many negative votes that my comment was taken off. I think you have a biased audience. I still wish happiness for you. You say, you know what's best for you, but I still think you are crazy.

  19. Many do not share your idea of how privilege should work. They believe that if you are privileged, you have no right to complain when the "oppressed" group turns around and does the "same thing you people did" because it was either "overdue" or they've dealt with so much. As a minority, I think it's bullshit to turn the blade, especially on people who haven't done anything and in most cases, want to help. My family does shit like that all the time, then accuse me of betraying them.

  20. So where your idea of how privilege works is the most reasonable, many use it as a device to enable poor behavior: blacks, women, trasngendered, disabled(both mentally and physically challenged), etc.

  21. Thanks for sharing ZJ – and, as usual, your observations are interesting.
    Oh and …
    HRT =/= injected with Borg nanobots
    Liked that. 😎

  22. Hormones have HUGE mental effects. I once juiced for a couple of months on straight testosterone, for a period of intense exercise training. It literally made me feel like hugging trees to see if I could crush them.

    It's obvious in ZJ's videos, too, that hormones have a mental effect.

  23. When your even, calm diction turned toward "Women: Nya nya nya nya, Men: Do do do do" I about died laughing. It's a serious topic and you addressed it very well, I just found that bit immensely funny. It's as if we've heard the stereotypes so often that just hearing the inflections is enough to be able to itemize the lists on our own.

  24. I'm curious about a few things that you've said. You said that were -are- brains and we -are- our horomones, because that is how we, as human beings, function; but would that not mean that introducing new hormones your body doesn't produce, at least in the ratio or amount that your altered regiment are providing, that you -are- changing yourself? Would not changing your makeup not change who you are, inherently? I don't mean to undermine what you're doing, I'd just like to hear your thoughts.

  25. Further, societal implications aside (as far as they might be pushed aside at least) the changes behavior by people who undergo hormone treatment being attributed to the hormone treatment itself, I feel, is not so strange. If Cynthia had instead gained a newfound craving for swiss cheese, instead of sweets, it may have also been due to the hormone treatment, no? But maybe there is something about estrogen that increases cravings for sweets, or maybe it's completely irrelevant, who knows?

  26. Another thing, while I don't agree with predispositions based on them, but stereotypes do not exist in a vacuum. They are a categorizing based on many experiences. Women, as it goes, are more emotional. People receiving estrogen causes more emotional responses. That is not a weakness, I see it as a strength, but I don't see how you can dismiss it as a stereotype when estrogen causes, principally in women (for we are made of hormones, after all) does make people more emotional and sensitive.

  27. I don't to attack you or anyone, I love your videos, and I love you for doing what you're doing. Your videos just raise within me a lot of questions about things I have honestly never seriously considered before, and I hope I don't offend anyone by asking so many things. Conciseness was never a strong point of mine, please forgive me.

  28. I don't think we have souls or are souls anyway, because souls either don't exist, or what people mean when they use the term is fully accounted for by physical phenomena and requires no recourse to any supernatural explanations. Also, I already have a girlfriend.

  29. I'm gonna take a guess here and bet you have never touched drugs. I can't imagine what you could possibly mean to say that the words and thoughts you type are accountable through physical phenomena? You got to be kidding. I will just not ask on the girlfriend what I wonder. because it's not my business.

  30. Ok so here's my question. So is it the case that when you were a man you liked guys and then when you did this hormone thing and as you became more of a woman you became attracted more to women? So was it "same sex" which was not gender specific or was it men or women that your "soul" was attracted to? If I could impose that personal question I am fascinated and thanks for talking to me.

  31. Drugs are a physical thing, so it's not surprising they would have the effects they do. If our minds were made out of some kind of super-special non-physical "stuff", then all those fun experiences people have on drugs, which make them think supernatural things exist, should be fully attainable without the use of drugs, because our brains are already full of magic or whatever.

  32. I've pretty much always liked men, women, anyone else, regardless of gender. I just understood it different ways at different times.

  33. Lol, just came here from a video were you started with "I'm not transgendered", so it is kind of weird. ^^ But finally someone thinking further than gender-cliches about this, I'll subscribe instantly! 🙂

  34. Just because transgenderness isn't considerd a mental disorder, that doesn't mean that it isn't one. But whether it is a true mental illness or not, I still think that it is the product of an unsound mind. On the other hand, I think I am perfectly sane, in large part because of the meds I take. I still remember what it is like to be crazy. I know that one can feel absolutely convinced everyone else is mistaken about you because you're special. I just don't think this is going to make you happy.

  35. Then if all these things are strictly scientific and biological, how can you even believe that you are not just a man who has just got influenced?

  36. Unfortunately some people like to wield the word as a bludgeon in an attempt to silence any criticism they cannot immediately account for, which is my first gut response tends to be to cringe when the term is used.
    The fact that some people hide behind buzzwords does not, however, reduce the necessity of properly applied terminology, but it does tend to do unfortunate damage to the meaning of said terminology.

  37. Hi~ I am out of the loop on gender-spectrum lingo. At the 7:50 mark in this video, you use a term that from the context I take to mean 'opposite of transgender'. The sentence begins "When ____ people don't fit into this model…". Please, what is the word you use there? It sounds like a shortened, nick-namey word (like 'trans' for 'transgender') but I can't make it out. Thank you.

  38. I don't feel the word "fun" does any justice to the level of profundity that can be experienced under the influence of certain psychoactive substances. However, in the same way a person can be in awe of nature without believing in any supernatural account for it's existence (eg; it's "god's creation" or such nonsense), it's possible to experience and acknowledge the significance of experiences of ego death, rapture or self transcending love without a supernatural explanation.

  39. Also, in principle all the experiences that people have under the influence of drugs are fully attainable without them. This is because drugs simply serve as catalysts to enable other states of the brain. This doesn't validate any claims of the objective nature of such experiences, such as that there's magic or souls or anything.

    The alternate explanation is grander and more mysterious however, an intricate network of neurons spanning hundreds of trillions of neural connections.

  40. One doesn't need recourse to the supernatural, there may be planes within the natural that we cannot perceive with anything other then the most advanced known technology in the universe: The Human Mind. I won't even get into the possibilities that a multiverse presents, but even with our own, non-generic Universe, we are still limited by the slow advancement of the instruments that give us awareness and perception. Don't let materialism limit you as most of the natural world isn't.

  41. It won't go over well with the masses when we start addressing each other as Mr or Mrs so-and-so's Brain. I guess Im responding right now to just a brain, & you don't exist as a person. The attempt to reduce love to just chemicals is fine, but we should speak more accurately to our husbands or wives, our children, and friends… that the immense feelings of appreciation or gratitude isn't love, but my brain's just firing off immense dosages of serotonin, and you might be the likely cause of it

  42. Thanks Cristiano. I got the answer during Zinnia's streaming chat the other night. I guess I should have come back here with the info in case others were curious too. Thanks again.

  43. Obviously not the same, but when my wife, who is by nature quite cynical, was six months pregnant, she started crying during a Abraham Lincoln documentary put on by the National Park Service because "He had such a difficult time." She is typically far more cold and rational than her husband, but this was a case where her biology really did affect her. Much to her displeasure.

  44. it had to be hrt because oxygen movies are never good. But then again budget is everything. You work with what you have i suppose

  45. My breasts are doing a pretty good job of mimicking secondary sexual characteristics. Do you need a new keyboard? I have spares.

  46. An example of a hormone-related effect that isn't gendered: my transman brother-in-law, at one point during his pregnancy, suddenly became more clumsy. One of the transwomen at his Trans* support group, commented, "Oh yeah, I get that when I have a progesterone spike" (or something of that nature)….

  47. So, yeah, I thought that was a nice example of an AFAB person dealing with a new situation of endogenous hormones, and a transwoman on HRT both learning something about their hormones by comparing notes with each other. 🙂

  48. Anti-feminists like to claim that if gender was a social construct, transgendered people wouldn't exist. Yet here you are, an intelligent trans-female who knows that gender is a social construct.

  49. I'd like to ask you to be careful about one thing (same for anyone on HRT, male or female. I lost a good friend several years ago. a clot in her leg broke loose and caused her to have a heart attack. She was transgendered, taking hormones and only 42. I don't know for sure that the hormones were the cause… but I know they can. I'm sure you already know the risks, but I've learned not to assume anything. And seriously… if you're gaining "women's intuition," listen to it! 🙂


    Seriously though – don't be a prick, bob.

  51. Have you heard about intersex? Because there are about 1 in 1,066 people with that. One of my girlfriends had both a dick and a vagina, how do you explain her? Look up Kleinfelter's Syndrome, Turner's Syndrome, Androgen Insufficiency Syndrome, Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia in genetic females, etc. Learn something before you "correct" someone on something they know more about than you…Obviously…

  52. We are supposed to believe women are naturally drawn to the kitchen.

    Part of your "anti-anti" attitude is rooted in the distaste for expectations of belief that were relevant 60 years ago.

    You, in this video, must use so much stereotypical non-sense in order to accidentally ostracize logical people who may or may not be receptive to your ideas.

    Watch me justify my, partially irrational, train of thought, here is one article from a somewhat insignificant website/newspaper. Ok, and..

  53. If manhood and womanhood are not inherently different modes of existence, your personal transition is rooted in psychosis (or…)?

    The grass isn't greener… then explain your desire to endure and actually make the transition outside of mental illness. (I am not assuming you are mentally ill, I am simply ignorant to your thought process, explain please.)

    You are speaking as if you are an expert on both. Or so it seems to me.

    Pardon me being a total asshole here. That is how I roll.

  54. You just managed to offend trans people AND women who happen to have non-functioning reproductive organs/had to have mastectomies. Good job.

  55. The expectations are still present today, they're just much tamer, much less blatant and much more "tasteful" to the average modern person. Cooking play sets still don't come in "boy's" colors and toy guns still don't come in pink. A guy in a dress still gets weird looks, though not nearly so much as a woman with a shaved head. We still have things we consider "normal" for one gender or the other, and these standards sometimes make it harder for people to be comfortable in their own skin.

  56. They also make it easier for people to be comfortable. Not all of us want to be genderqueer/agender. A lot of us are very happy being able to clearly express a binary gender.

  57. I'm not saying the gender binary isn't preferable for some people, I'm just saying it doesn't include everyone. SavageInstitute was suggesting that the modern gender binary is a level playing field for everyone, including people who would identify as a different gender than they were born with, and this simply is not the case.

  58. Well, I'm sure he needs a new KB. But it's probably because of jizz, not the reason you think. I think he's just afraid to admit that he really, really likes you. So, good on you for offering that KB. I think it shows you to be the better person.

  59. I'd like to point out that much of what you report about a new handle on your feelings, a new ability to step back from their dominance is a universal.  The brain does a sort of growth spurt from late teens to about age 25.  Millions of new neural pathways appear.  Every person, male, female, or whatever other flavor, undergoes this change.  Youths (before this brain maturation) are limbic, emotion-driven.  People over 25 or so have come to control their lives much more cerebrally, because it is only at that time that the ability to do so has been developed.

  60. Wow, that was mindblowing. Thank you for all those videos Zinnia, you're really helping my understanding of trans* issues.

  61. Why do you call it Hormone "Replacement" Therapy? You had no oestrogen (yes I know that all men have a little natural oestrogen just as women have a little testosterone too) to replace. Less testosterone? I can think of an easy but painful way to achieve that. Surely not? Anyway, you've come a long way from the engaging young man you were, jumping as you did, on to your bunk bed. Your accent has changed too.

  62. Every life form in the multi-verse is unique
    from birth ( or before? ) we all have unique experiences that only we had these events in our own personal lives effect how we see, experience and react to the world around us no living thing ever holds the exact same opinion or belief as any other just like no living thing sees exactly the same color as anyone else. You live in your meme/reality tunnel and I live in mine. At times they may run parallel but that's all.
    "Who is the master that makes the grass green?"
    "Who is more trustworthy than all the Buddhas and sages?"

  63. I'm this has been mentioned to you many times before but do you believe that sexual dimorphism and evolutionary traits just plain don't exist in humans, the one of millions of animal species, because feminism?

  64. although gender stereotypes can be really annoying when they are so in you face all the time, i think they are also very necessary. the term transgender would mean nothing without them; what is gender but stereotypes? when someone says that they are transgender they mean they identify with their culture's gender roles of the other sex. so by accepting that you are trans i think you must also accept that stereotypes exist and are based in truth.

  65. What she is saying is quite true. It seems that the collective subjectivity of the society gave us predetermined expectations and stereotypes that are stripping us with our freedom of who we wish to be. Can we just be generic human with freedom to control our own lives, choose our own destiny and live the life what we want to live with.

  66. I realize this video is several years old now and probably fading into history, but I wanted to note that a friend who started HRT a year or two back did indeed report that chocolate took on a new dimension with estrogen on board.  Chocolate is believed to affect tryptophan and serotonin regardless of gender, thereby elevating one's mood, and if so, it's quite possible that the effect is more pronounced in the presence of higher levels of estrogen.

  67. We need more transgenders like you in popular media, because I thought transgenders were sexists in the extreme. Like Caitlin presenting herself as a woman for the first time in a SEXY fotoshoot. Like, when you can give a man a boner, you have succeeded in your transformation of being a woman. I hated that! I totally agree with you!

  68. There is no such thing as gender, so there is no such thing as transgender. That doesn't make any of the actions of anyone who identifies as transgender wrong, just the use of the term trans gender. NO GENDER is the goal, not a reinforcement of gender roles, and stereotypes by using the term transgender. You aren't a transwoman/man, because there is no such thing as a woman or man to begin with. Two wrongs don't make a right. We are just human beings. No one needs to know what genitals you have, or what gender (a fake social construct) you identify with. Be who you are, dress or act however you want, and if anyone asks you don't say I'm a transwoman, or a transman, or I'm a woman, or a man, just say I AM PERSON, AND UNLIKE GENDER I AM REAL…SO I WILL JUST STICK TO BEING A PERSON. NO GENDER NEEDED.

  69. On your point about the GI Joes, if gender matters at all it surely matters in dolls. How children play with dolls and which dolls they prefer can say a lot and is a gendered thing based on statistics. On the article about the trans woman experiencing stereotypical things when on estrogen, well maybe the other just asked the woman and that's what she said. Or the woman actually does experience those things. Beyond that, I don't think you proved that society creates these differences. I think everyone should be treated as an individual, and their choices respected, but I'm also okay with the idea that men and women are different on average because of biological factors.

  70. 5:20 "ah yes, women are emotional creatures, tossed about on the winds of their own feelings." while not entirely true, i would compare women and their feelings to be more like sailboats and the wind, and men and their intellect to be like oar-driven boats. At the end of the day, both sexes (/ all genders) are navigating the seas of life as best they can.

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