Society’s Definition of “Success” is a Lie – 500k Q&A

Society’s Definition of “Success” is a Lie – 500k Q&A

Sup you guys First of all, let me just say thank you. It is an honor to have such a large audience And it’s not just I think the quantity of people, which by the way is unbelievable I cannot believe how many of you I have convinced to subscribe to my channel, but also the quality of the interactions. So you know, you guys have had so many incredible suggestions, so much wonderful feedback that has had an impact on me So I just want to say thank you. I wanted to do something a little bit different today. A little bit less Produced, a little bit less edited. So I’m just gonna take the opportunity to answer some of your questions I did this on Instagram and I might do it again in the future. So if you’re interested in asking me something Consider checking out my Instagram. “So what’s your definition of success?” Which I think is a really interesting question And something I’m currently working through right now so I don’t want it to sound like I had this figured out. But I spent a lot of time thinking back to when I started. Casey Neistat that was a huge inspiration for me. Just something about his storytelling in the videos he was putting out was just incredible I had never seen anything like that before and that’s what pushed me to create my channel years ago And so his philosophy and the ideas that he espoused and the message that he put out Largely influenced my definition of success which is to like work really hard and grind and push and move forward and you know Have that kind of American entrepreneur sort of lifestyle. As time has progressed I’ve realized that first of all his lifestyle was super unhealthy He has since spoken about how close he was to divorcing his wife. And so all that kind of just made me realize like “Wow, this is absolutely not the kind of lifestyle that I want to live.” My definition of success is now moving more and more towards Having a solid sense of well-being and taking care of myself As well as working hard and being creative and having some sort of positive impact in the world I think it is largely based in taking care of myself, which is something I’m figuring out I mean, I don’t have that part figured out right now “Do you believe in fake it till you make it?” That’s a really good question, I’m so glad I was asked that That expression makes me sick. I feel like it is such a backwards way of looking at things because I feel like inherently if you’re faking it you you’re not making it. And increasingly, I’m starting to think that there’s no real need to actually fake anything, That it’s always better in the long term to be honest and be truthful. Be real. Even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it’s difficult, especially in the short term Another expression that I absolutely despise is, I’m kind of paraphrasing here, but this idea of “find what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” Like that’s absolutely not true. I’m doing something I love right now, but there’s plenty of work associated with it, and I don’t think that ever changes. Again, that’s my personal view. Some people will disagree But I think work is inherent. Having a dream job doesn’t mean not working “When did you decide to translate your passion for self-improvement into making videos?” I think it naturally happened because I just felt the desire to create content that I wasn’t feeling like I was finding very easily on the Internet. The way I would describe what I do is not just self-improvement but also like self exploration. I’m talking about emotions in a way that not a lot of guys do it’s been interesting the reaction because I feel like It’s not typical. I don’t even know what to say about that It’s unfortunate that we have such a limited view on the way men can express themselves So anyway, yeah, I think it just kind of naturally happened. I was like, “Wow, I Feel like I can contribute something that’s a little bit different To the tsunami of content that’s out there and it might be valuable to some people” Yeah, and then the rest I’ve just kind of been figuring out as I go “How much time did it take to start seeing revenue from YouTube?” I started back in 2015, so over four years ago at this point, I was posting very regularly for a very long time. I’ve since private like over 50 videos, but I I made practically no money. And certainly not anything even close to even part-time income until like March of this year So almost four years, but again Like I don’t know how much that means to any of you guys because everybody’s journey is gonna be a little bit different In many ways luck and good fortune has played a huge role in my journey and my life So it really depends and it’s- it’s- please do not compare. “How am I supposed to be confident?” So like I’m certainly not An expert in giving advice on something like this But I will say this – there’s a lot of like bad advice out there that you know, like for example “Fake you till you make it” right which I just don’t believe in In my case, I feel like I found a lot more confidence and self-esteem by developing a skill and kind of getting good at it which takes a long time but it’s a long and confusing process and I just want to say that Even now I maybe I come across as very confident and very like comfortable in my own skin, which I think is true, But I absolutely still have my insecurities, my fears, and my doubts, bad days, Confusion on where to go in the future like in what direction I want to move in all of that stuff I don’t think it ever goes away. “What is your biggest fear?” I think it would be difficult to pinpoint like an exact biggest fear but I will say one very large fear that I have is You know, and I think it has many manifestations But it would be like public ridicule and the destruction of my reputation and everything that I’ve built Just kind of to lose it. All I think is a terrifying thought And in a way I mean death also represents that right because it’s like you can’t take your Possessions and your reputation and all the things that you accomplished with you after you die. That’s it. “How can someone impress you? ‘If the world was blind how many people would you impress?” I think one of the qualities that impresses me, the most especially in women is Honesty and like being real. Which is pretty rare. I mean, let’s just be honest. It’s pretty rare, but I find it very attractive when a woman is able to Speak directly not play games, you know not create a facade. I think you can feel and see that kind of honesty and it’s very impressive to me because that to me speaks To a certain level of self-confidence and and a comfortability in yourself “How to stop feeling pain when you’re alone?” That’s a heavy one I would say it’s something you shouldn’t run from I think I guess the spiritual journey or a journey to figuring yourself out is gonna have lonely moments So accept that’s part of the process, you know, it’s not forever. “Do you feel alone? If so, how do you deal with it?” And you know, it’s interesting. I probably seem like one of the last people to Feel alone considering the quantity of you guys showing up to watch my videos, which again thank you so much, but I do. I do struggle with that a lot and I think the way I try to deal with it is first of all not to run away from that feeling When I’m feeling very very lonely. I tried to spend time figuring out why – where’s that booted from? Where’s it coming from? And then of course, you know I try to make an effort to make plans meet up with people and force myself Even if it doesn’t, you know, it feels kind of uncomfortable or I kind of would rather stay moping around in my apartment It’s good. It’s always good to kind of force myself to get out a little bit And practice Italian (ay) “What is your favorite thing to do when you have nothing to do?” That’s an interesting question because the truth is it’s been a long time since I felt like I’ve had nothing to do And I’m trying to make an effort to not fill all of my time Because it’s just you know, it’s not a healthy way to live You know, it’s good to have free time sometimes. “Any creative advice for a beginner content creator? I plan to start creating soon.” Like honestly don’t even try to have things figured out. You won’t I still don’t and Place all of your energy in learning to love the process because that’s the only thing that’s gonna stick with you, I think, and keep you going all the way through. “Hey Drew-” I love it when people call me that like that’s not my name. It’s funny. A little bit on the practical “How do you choose the B-roll in your scenes?” which is a great question. I get a lot of comments Sometimes asking me, you know, “Why do you put shots in that don’t directly have- you know, correlate with what you’re talking about?” There’s a few reasons for that. First of all, some of the stuff I talk about’s abstract And I try to show kind of the feeling that I want to convey if that makes sense So in many cases it make senses to show exactly what I’m talking about, but not always. I find that to be a little bit boring sometimes and I see that as like an opportunity to Flex a little bit of artistic muscle. But more than that I think I try to show the visuals that I’m personally seeing in my life. So in a way when you watch my videos you’re Seeing a slice of my life. You’re there with me You’re seeing what I’m seeing you’re experiencing what I’m experiencing and I’m sharing that with you. That’s the best way I feel like I could kind of describe How I select a lot of my b-roll shots And also, let’s just be real and there’s only so many shots of me walking, journaling, on my computer, on my phone that I can put Into a video and keep it looking fresh and interesting, you know? “Would you rather fight 10 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?” Well, why am I fighting these creatures? “What’s one thing you don’t understand about Italians?” Every time I go to a bar, because they don’t really have coffee shops, It’s like you go to a bar where you order a coffee and you have it and you leave. I just find it incredible that Italians will continue their conversation and completely ignore that you’re waiting in line there You know, it’s not Disrespectful it’s just part of the culture, but I’m just like “Yo, dude. I’m here for a coffee.” “How do you stay consistent?” James Clear talks about how To create long term habit change you really have to create long term Identity change, you know the way you see yourself and the stories that you tell yourself. I think the single most relevant reason why I’m Consistent with content creation is because I have this identity of “I’m gonna show up, week in week out” So my Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ As for Enneagram, I haven’t done it yet. I might do that as like a bonus thing on Patreon. “What keeps you going in this messed up world?” I would say I just find something endlessly inspiring In somebody or a group of people taking a really horrible situation and making something out of it. That’s incredible to me. I, unfortunately, could not answer all of your questions, but I did my best. I do have a small request to make Usually at this stage in the video I plug my social media, my newsletter, my Patreon page, but I’m gonna ask for something a little bit different this time And that is just to consider hitting the bell icon. It has become apparent to me that YouTube It does not show my videos to all of you guys and I don’t upload that often at a maximum once a week And that might go down in the future So if you enjoy my videos and you feel like you’re getting value out of them, please consider hitting that bell icon. Thank you so much and I’ll see you soon!

100 thoughts on “Society’s Definition of “Success” is a Lie – 500k Q&A

  1. Inspiring video, thanks for sharing. I have the luck of working and make a living as a creator (I'm a tattooist, illustrator and a little bit an actor) but I always feel the need of expressing myself in another way, in a more straightforward way, but always struggle with inseccurities like "who's gonna be interested in your stuff?" or "there are bunch of people doing it, how're you gonna do something different??". Channels like yours and particulary videos like this one make me come closer and more inspired about the idea of just making it! Keep on the good work!

  2. The saying "do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life" is about finding what you do as enjoyable as a hobby, something you love is something you would find time for outside of an office position (if you had one) anyway, so basically it's not about not working as in not doing things, it's about not working as in finding even hard stuff enjoyable and wanting to continue no matter

  3. Love how you push not grinding as a way to succeed! Unfortunately the majority does the opposite. Keep up the good work 🙂

  4. 3:20 – 3:50
    The way men express their emotions (or rather not express them and be emotionally unavailable) is due to how we raise men in this world due to society. The same way women are taught to nurture, to be kind, and to give; then we have grown-ass women who do too much, who love too much.
    That concept as a whole is wrong and unhealthy. I hope to see some changes in the future.

  5. That's interesting that you don't like the "fake it til you make it" phrase. I find it's defined a lot of my career/success growth thus far, there are aspects of new environments or experiences that I feel like sometimes I have to fake it through. I've done something similar but not exactly that, so I have some of the answers, but inevitably some of it i'll be figuring out as I go — but still trying to maintain an external/internal confidence even though I don't have the answer. Anyway, congrats on 500k, I've been a silent watcher of your channel for a while so it's cool to see you grow!

  6. I love your broll footage! I can see beauty in every shot, it feels like you capture the little charming things about a place that leave the strongest impression. It's also very relaxing to watch

  7. i've never hit the bell icon for any youtubers, but the ones i wanna watch they're always there either in my subscriptions feed or home page, including yours! so know that i'm always looking out for your videos 🙂

  8. Happiness and Success is really more about contentment. Problem is we have been conditioned by society to never be content and never be satisfied. I think that’s why it’s important as humans that we set time aside to unplug and self reflect daily wether through journaling or solitude. It sounds simple but it’s amazing how much it can help get you focused on what really matters and where true success and happiness in your life is.

  9. I have also gotten myself to the point where I don't have, "nothing to do." I am so glad to hear that you are trying to not fill all of your time. Looking forward to any suggestions!

  10. Just managed to watch this video now. And im so sad that i didnt get a chance to ask you question! Anyway, that question asking why you put random shot in your while you talk about something else… I was shocked by! Because my mind works exactly like you explained why you put those shots is to represent the feeling and to me those just make sense. But what i am saying is.. I'm just fascinated by the fact that what is obvious for you sometimes might not be very for others. As always, great video, Andrew!!

  11. Amazing video as always! Just thought I’d give a little food for thought. The whole find something you like and you’ll never work a day in your life. I think is hinting more to the horrible dread sense of the word “work” a lot of people feel as they leave their house to go to their office job which they despise. Working as an artist now and even having a part time job as a nanny I find it a million times better than when I worked in something more conventional getting more money. I was super depressed. Sometimes to be honest I feel like I don’t really “work” even though I do a lot! It’s pleasurable for at least 80% of the time. As a society I think we associate work with bad feelings. But anyway haha I’m rambling. Great video!

  12. I agree with the "fake it till you make it" almost 100%. Faking success or everything that you show to the world and that is fake (rented cars, fake money, stock footage to show a situation that you aren't even personally in etc.) are pure bs. However, I think there's one thing where it can help: Personal inner-problems and fears. I for example am very shy and introverted (and I am a 20+ male which makes it much harder), but somehow the thought of being a better and more open self helps me to go through situations. I for example was in a big city here in my country germany and always had in my had the regular thoughts an introverted and shy person has – always self-critics. But once I started to simply imagine that I am an open person, it really helped a lot when I talked with people or started to do random eye-contact. I have challenged myself by trying to already BE the better me instead of thinking that I COULD be a better me. It was only in my thoughts because I didn't randomly to transform into a sexy looking hulk. In my opinion this counts to fake it till you make it as at the beginning you won't be able to randomly talk to people. But however, at one point the wish of really show that better you will be so strong, that you will try to show it. I have talked with a few strangers when I was there and it really helped a lot. The next situation in the same city was when I visited a skyscraper while having an extreme fear of heights. I couldn't even climb a ladder and then a freaking skyscraper?! The thought of that I am already a better me helped me here too and in the end that thoughts combined with fear of missing out (as I won't visit that city soon again) I was able to go to the edge of the skyscraper platform and touch the railing. I mean you said that you also sometimes force yourself to go out and why does it work? Because you think of a better you than you currently are (atleast you think so that you are currently not good enough). What do you think about this thoughts?

  13. You should read this book:
    Enjoy Your Life DARUSSALAM

  14. This live advice and thoughtfulness is great, but I'm still waiting for Nathaniel to explain why his logo looks like an ice cream cone…

  15. I didn’t think I could like & respect you any more than I already did, dude. But 2:14 – 2:41 proved me wrong. Along with Jordan Peterson, you’re my top 2 inspirations & role models out there now. The world needs more voices like yours & friends like you. Never give up because you’re awesome, man.

  16. Thank you for making these videos. I've been following your channel ever since the "not going to college" video and since then you've really made a tremendous impact in my philosophy and views of the world. I started self improvement a long time ago and I was bombarded with these "alpha male" or fake it till you make it etc… videos, and that's what I thought self-improve was, getting jacked, getting productive, and getting money. But when I started watching your channel I was able to delve deeper into why I wanted these things and started to spot many of the BS even in this self improvement space. I just love the fact you are fully authentic and despite all your successes you still admit that you are still figuring things out, that's something that I've never seen in any other youtuber.

  17. I have the urge to binge all your videos and collect as much information as possible about
    Generally just get to know you

  18. Happiness in every moment no matter what that moment be, so a stable state of mind I can do this by picking the chocolate out of my scrogan bag

  19. It's really crazy to think back to 2015/2016 when everyone wanted to emulate Casey and now it's been revealed just how unhealthy that way of working and living life is…

  20. Love your random b-roll. I'll be starting regular content soon and random b-roll is part of my plan too. I love the idea of using it to put in context of your life, not just of the topic °¬)

  21. You make 7 minutes of (great) content into 12 minute videos. This is why I think you'e not quite as successful as Matt D'avella yet. A thing said concisely is a thing said better. Try making your videos ruthlessly concise for 3 months and see what happens. Keep up the good work!

  22. Fake it till you make it helped me a lot to get out of my depression. I was in a dark zone and I pretended that I was not until I was capable of not faking my happiness anymore because it became my reality.

  23. Congratulations Nathaniel! Do you love music!? I think you'll love this!

    My Vision has always been to blend virtual instruments, western genres and instruments to the Indian Classical Music.

    Here is one of the first steps towards my envisioning!


  24. Btw, "fake it until you make it" sounds bad, but in the corporate world it is often very necessary to fake some of your creds to get in. (Which you'll then end up learning by doing the job.) I can see how from your point of view it would be dumb to fake being 'better' than you are of course.

  25. Success is inner peace. When nothing bothers you anymore so you never bother anyone else. Just gratitude and positivity driving the way.

  26. Dude..your kind of 'content' is almost all there is on the internet. Almost every generic white middle class and up being is doing these idiotic video's. But hey..I dont blame you…i blame the even more generic beings that subscribe to you and see you as something that they want to be. Now thats…sad.
    Narcissism 101 vids.

  27. I've put "success" first, over my well-being. Success is not having a good career and feeling like life isn't worth living. It's better to focus on your state of mind, relationships, experiences, health, surroundings… Having just enough is enough.

  28. I most possibly never heard someone ask this politely to hit the bell icon. Nathaniel, I’m very thankful for your contribution in this YouTube community, I’m looking forward to see more of you in the future.

  29. i really loved your opinions ! Especially about the Lifestyle of Casey Neistat back in the days. Cause he often made me feel very unproductive even if i almost worked the whole day..

  30. Man where have you been for the past five years of my life. I just found you and i’ve been watching a lot of your content. Its been a really long time since i found something that truly hit with me online. I identify with a lot of your ideas and style and love how you present them. It is surprisingly refreshing.
    Keep it up man, great work.

  31. 6:47 to be alone makes a pain?
    there are lot of activity that people can do and never feel lonely such as gym, exercise, cycling, and also cooking, try to learn new languages, try to play new musical instrument , go to boxing or aikido or… classes.
    Wow, i guess i can be a good leader too.

  32. OMG I'm an INFJ too! Do you know how rare we are 😅 Nk wonder I relate so mucb with your content. All the best Nathaniel!

  33. Great video! Really good questions! For a book for reading: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. Peace!

  34. Il tuo content è incredibile! And not just your videography. It's what you say and how you say it. I feel like you are the most mature, honest, and talented content creator out there.

  35. Just knew your channel recently and I highly appreciate every single advice you gave in the video as it really resonated with my path alot.

  36. I think I became biased of your videos!!! They are literally included in my schedule of the week. One word: Amazing!

  37. Will you do a video in your voice about sexuality? Gender roles? LGBTQ community? I think that would be super interesting to watch coming from you!

  38. I love that you talk about this 'self exploration'. That's the reason I watch you. There's all kinds of productivity stuff out there. But I find that so much of ignores your personhood, and treats you like a robot. And I've been trying to get away from robot, and more into allowing myself to be a complex emotional human being, and finding the clarity in that.

  39. I used to be the same way with regards to success: work hard, non stop grind for career success. But at some point you burn out and realize it is unhealthy and not sustainable. And my personal life became 100x more fulfilling than the peaks of my career, so I started a much more balanced lifestyle that prioritized my personal life and used my career as a means to the best life for myself and my partner (while still being relevant to my interests). Thanks for the great vids and inspiration! Cool to connect with you on so many things.

  40. I see success when I see people with inner peace or those who seek it. Those who have lived without many regrets and created and treated those around them with kindness, respect and empathy. People who are not overly concerned with burdens that society can place on you. Those who have no problem with being vulnerable and imperfect.

    Any of these qualities brings a person to my attention. Guess it may be because they are the things I personally seek and seeing it modelled well in another brings me hope.

  41. Your video about books inspired me to read and since September I have finished 8 books and I have many more to read. I also love the quality of your videos, and the message is so pure. Once I even tried the cold shower challenge 😂
    Keep it up!

  42. Wow, I am really impressed by your personality. The way that you articulate is so clear and thoughtful. The thing you said about honesty in women is so interesting, because that is exactly what I search in a partner but never quite seem to find. In todays society everything needs to be a game, always about to feed the ego. Would love to meet you some time, hit me up if you are planing to visit Bologna in the future!

  43. Been binge-watching all your work, I only found you a couple of days ago though. I have been working as a multidisciplinary designer for over 10 years, worked with plenty of talented people, but I couldn't wrap my head about the fact that you are so talented since like 18? Something about the way you write really hooked me in. Meyers Briggs compatibility chart says INFJ and ENFP are quite a match. I guess i just found what to look for in my future husband haha

  44. success is to live a joyful and meaningful life with health and longevity. many people think steve job is successful. he is a nasty person with bad temper. I do not want to die at 58.

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