Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to Civilization 6! Now, I’m not gonna claim to be an expert in the Civilization games. In fact, I’m probably very bad, so if you came here for expert gameplay, I am, I -I I apologize profoundly for my own stupidity. But for those of you who like Civilization, like I do, I’ve been a fan of it since about Civilization 3. I thoroughly enjoy it because I-I don’t know what it is about it. It captures that essence of commanding the entire world, and the the feeling of exploration is really cool and it appeals to me in a grand stand. But I just don’t have the patience to play, like, the super long games or like, keep a marathon, and get really good at the game. So when I’m going to play this, I’m gonna play it – just to have some fun. I’m not going to do a long series on it, but I am gonna just have some fun. This game just came out either today or yesterday, or whenever, so I’m just gonna play a brand new game. No, I’m going to create a custom game, thank you very much! I’m going to pick my leader, thank you very much! “Catherine De Medeecheee” Cleopatra… typical. Ghandi? Fuck that guy… Ted-Teddy Roosevelt! Hell yeah! Alright, game difficulty… You know what, I’m gonna set a high standard for myself! If I call myself the “King of A Lot of Things”, I’m definitely gonna be a king here. Alright, so I’m gonna do standard…we’re not gonna get very far. Alright, whatever, I’m just gonna do shuffle because I can’t do it. Now we’re gonna do small because I don’t have the patience to explore a giant desolate wasteland. So come on Teddy!! We’re gonna do this!! [Narrator]: From the first stirrings of life beneath water, (Mark): Hell yea. [Narrator]: To the great beast of the stone age. (Mark): Oh yeah! [Narrator]: To man taking his first upright steps, you have come far. (Mark): Oh, yes I have. [Narrator]: Now begins your greatest quest. (Mark): Oh. [Narrator]: From this early cradle of civilization, on towards the stars. (Mark): Is that Sean Bean?? [Narrator] And so it is upon your broad shoulders, Theodore Roosevelt, to charge forth and lead your people on their great adventure. Use your military mind to give the peoples of your homeland the square deal they so desperately deserve. Surely, you will raise America into the limelight and attract visitors from across the oceans just to see your lands. Bully for you… Mr. President (Mark) BULLY!!! Bully indeed!! Bully for Sean Bean!! Bully for world domination!! A square deal for America and ‘Merica alone. Fuck all those other guys! and Gandhi especially– fuck that guy! Okay, So… Apparently we’re gonna a bit more…rel-militarilistic (Female narrator) As your personal adviser, I am qualified to assist you in all matters related to ruling our civilization. (Mark) Oh~ Oh! (Female narrator) I am at your service. (Mark) Oh! *Laugh* Oh! You think I don’t know how to play? The answer is probably that I do not but I’m not going to pay any attention to you I’m new to this one Well I ain’t much for being picky; how about we settle right on here… Do the found a city thing. Hell yeah! Oh no, we can’t see Alright so we got warriors, we got Washington, nothing being produced. We need to do something about that. I- *sing-songish* am gonna do a thing. *Sighs* Oh man. Man, Teddy Roosevelt ain’t no… He ain’t no astrologer! He’s animal husbandry — Oh, 100%! That’s so Teddy! Oh hell yeah! Alright, we’re doin’ that.. Code of Laws… I dunno… Do we have any laws? Are we in total anarchy here? Is everything gonna die horribly?? The answer is yes, except for us. We’re gonna survive! ‘Cuz nothing can kill the bull moose president! Alright, what’re we doin’? *singing* Arriiwe need to build a Monument to mah Greatness! But we do need a builder – ah, we don’t have a builder. Maybe we can get a builder. Nah! You know what?! I know I’m great! I know I’m amazing! I know everything about that, but other people don’t know how great I am! I need to build a monument and that’s gonna be the -first- thing that we build because I’m amazing and everyone should know about it! Alright, you… Dickhole McDooger, You go over there. Oh, yes. Oh, yesss! What’d you find? You found water and a bullshit frozen plain! Good job! and rice fields. Cool! And COWS!! We’re gonna get Animal Husbandry and we’re gonna get on over there. Alright, anyway. Next turn! We’re done here. We did it. We good. Who else is here? Someone scattering around in the darkness by the krakens? and the… whatever the hell that is? and the… that thing? Nothin’ over here. *quietly* except more horrors… Alright. I guess go this way. Oh no, did I just?.. Ohh, it’s a peninsula. Ahhh, I went the wrong way ’cause I’m an idiot. Oh, wait. There’s jade over there! Holy shit, there’s a lot of resources over here. Seems like…seems like Washington was founded in in – in East Asia and I’m not sure why or how, but I’m okay with it! *Bobbidee-boop* Well, I guess we can go back! There’s nothing over there… :/ *Mark Noises* Hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da! *meekly* Charge! We got nothin’ to do for a long time so ya just gotta keep marchin’, ya dick! What’s over here? Ohh, that’s more like it. *gasp* A town to ransack?! Hell yes! >:D Wait, what’d that say? “The appeal is Breathtaking!” Hell yeah! *aesthetic* Oh, I want that! Oh, we’re gonna make a city there! Oh, Hell yes we are! Alright.. we’re gonna go ‘visit’ you. Don’t mind our axes and our maces! *roll to Bluff* They’re Friendliness Axes! we’re gonna have a great… Why am I?… Yeah, why am I doing this? You guys have been like: “Hey, you don’t know how to play!” >:( The answer is ‘Yes, I do not.’ 😀 Hello! (Female Narrator) Reconnaissance units like Scouts are unique in that they can – -gain experience by exploring and discovering parts of the world.
*Happy l’il Marky dance* That’s Nice! Is that new to Civ VI? ‘Cuz I can’t quite remember. My brother is a much bigger fan of this game than I am. But, it’s cool though because it’s just like… You know… me and my own! It’s my thing! and I’m this! and everyone else can go die>:D! Anyway, we got Animal Husbandry, so we got …er, we’re -gonna- have Animal Husbandry and we’ll get that. But now we’re apparently got a Scout So where you gon’ go? You go venture this way… Go over dere — ish. Good job! +sees unprotected village to ransack again+ *tiny gasp* Another town… Okay, cancel your previous orders and do this thing. K, how do I cancel previous orders? I think I got it. Alright. So, you’re gonna go… “Your knowledge of Masonry…” “Hidden Technical Secret!” Yay! We killed them, and stole their knowledge! 😀 As Teddy would’ve wanted. Oh, I love it. I love the ambiance of it. I love the patience of it. I love — like, I don’t have the patience to play really long games but it’s something about — like it’s so appealing just to have a game… and it be this thing where you just sit and you enjoy the environment and let it play out around you. Isn’t that right, Teddy? *History Time!* Theodore Roosevelt was very big into preserving the natural resources of America. You can thank a lot of the parks that we have here in America — North America… the United States of America… whatever you wanna call it, to Teddy Roosevelt, who was very big into all that stuff. He loved nature and that’s why he was such a fuckin’ BADASS! >:D Because he was a Badass! That’s all he was! He wrestled bears. He ate ROCKS. He was super — super hardcore like that… I can’t remember if he was in Civ V I don’t think so. Alright, anyway. We’re done here! Er’rebodies done. Have a good time bein’ done. Alright what’re we doin?.. *surprised gasp* Who the fuck are you? You wanna, You wanna, You wanna, You WANNA You Wanna TUSSLE? Huh? Buddy Boo? Hey? Who’re you?! H-How’re you doin’? Nice, on that Charming Grassland. Mine’s, y’know, just -Average 🙁 You got the Charming one, I don’t know why… I don- I don’t wanna attack ya. Says “Major Victory”… I mean, who is that? Is that anybody? Ahh, I’ll kill ’em!! *dogs barking* Take some of this! Yeah, keep the dogs out of this. This is just between you and me. Oh gosh… Well, that didn’t…work. That didn’t do nuthin’ :/ *weird sick noise* Alright, where we goin’ here? ♪ I don’t know what we got! I don’t know what we got! ♪ ♪ Our Monument is not built yet ♪ 🙁 ♪ I don’t know what we got. ♪ That must be Barbarians. Yeah, that is Barba–Hey, you stay out mah city! (Female Narrator) Enacting new policies in our government can be of great benefit. Oooh! (Narrator) Our people await your decree. Sure, how do I do that? Aughhh, shit! (Sean Bean’ing) I am fond of pigs. (SB) Dogs look up to us. (SB) Cats look down on us. (SB) Pigs treat us as equals. (Mark) Well, THAT’S an interesting slogan… Why not a slogan from Tweddy? *Mean Sean Bean Machine* It is not wisdom, but authority, that makes a law. Nice! Thanks, Sean Bean! Again, your voice is soothing. Alright, so we need… to change policies. What shall we do? Discipline…mmmbbrrrr… the Best?! ‘Defense is beatin’ the Shit out of everybody around you! (Teddy approves) Okay, we need — oh, God King! I could be a Gawd King! (of the Squirrels) Amongst mere mortals, Gawd Markiplier! God of the Squirrels! (Oh he made the joke too) GOD of Five Nights At Fredd –Nah, that sounds terrible. I’ll try Urban Planning ’cause that sounds better and I need to produce things. Yeah, we’re good! Except we got…y’know… Frickin’ Barbarians over here. :/ Can you beat the shit out of ’em already? Hit ’em harder! Hit ’em! Gawd, use something more than a stick! Well, I’m not gonna be able to get back with these guys so… Oh well. Oh hi! Howzit goin’? 😀 Heeey! (I’m gonna kill ya for your knowledge!) Oh, that’s a charming wooden grassland with a river. I’m gonna take that, kill you… (told ya) steal all of your stuff — you won’t remember it ’cause you’re dead — and then take your city for my own and maybe even Found a City there because I am just that cool. Alright, fine. We need to research something else. *Ahh, ba-be-da-ba-bo-ba-ba-ba-ba* Oooh! We could get the Roughriders! Ohh, we love horseback riding! Ahh, it’s so good! Not very useful…in the long run… but nah, I want horses! I want horsies! 😀 Oh, Civic? Ooohh.. Foreign Trade… Crafts-Man-Ship *ba-ba-be-bo-ba-bo-ba* Trade routes! We need those. We need a lotta those. Alright, we’re done ‘ere! Everybody done? We’re good? Everybody good? Y’all good? Alright — yeah, you’d better stay away! I-I’m still gonna… Beat the Shit outta you! D: