STARTING WITH A BIG STICK | Civilization 6 – Part 1

STARTING WITH A BIG STICK | Civilization 6 – Part 1

Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to Civilization 6! Now, I’m not gonna claim to be an expert in the Civilization games. In fact, I’m probably very bad, so if you came here for expert gameplay, I am, I -I I apologize profoundly for my own stupidity. But for those of you who like Civilization, like I do, I’ve been a fan of it since about Civilization 3. I thoroughly enjoy it because I-I don’t know what it is about it. It captures that essence of commanding the entire world, and the the feeling of exploration is really cool and it appeals to me in a grand stand. But I just don’t have the patience to play, like, the super long games or like, keep a marathon, and get really good at the game. So when I’m going to play this, I’m gonna play it – just to have some fun. I’m not going to do a long series on it, but I am gonna just have some fun. This game just came out either today or yesterday, or whenever, so I’m just gonna play a brand new game. No, I’m going to create a custom game, thank you very much! I’m going to pick my leader, thank you very much! “Catherine De Medeecheee” Cleopatra… typical. Ghandi? Fuck that guy… Ted-Teddy Roosevelt! Hell yeah! Alright, game difficulty… You know what, I’m gonna set a high standard for myself! If I call myself the “King of A Lot of Things”, I’m definitely gonna be a king here. Alright, so I’m gonna do standard…we’re not gonna get very far. Alright, whatever, I’m just gonna do shuffle because I can’t do it. Now we’re gonna do small because I don’t have the patience to explore a giant desolate wasteland. So come on Teddy!! We’re gonna do this!! [Narrator]: From the first stirrings of life beneath water, (Mark): Hell yea. [Narrator]: To the great beast of the stone age. (Mark): Oh yeah! [Narrator]: To man taking his first upright steps, you have come far. (Mark): Oh, yes I have. [Narrator]: Now begins your greatest quest. (Mark): Oh. [Narrator]: From this early cradle of civilization, on towards the stars. (Mark): Is that Sean Bean?? [Narrator] And so it is upon your broad shoulders, Theodore Roosevelt, to charge forth and lead your people on their great adventure. Use your military mind to give the peoples of your homeland the square deal they so desperately deserve. Surely, you will raise America into the limelight and attract visitors from across the oceans just to see your lands. Bully for you… Mr. President (Mark) BULLY!!! Bully indeed!! Bully for Sean Bean!! Bully for world domination!! A square deal for America and ‘Merica alone. Fuck all those other guys! and Gandhi especially– fuck that guy! Okay, So… Apparently we’re gonna a bit more…rel-militarilistic (Female narrator) As your personal adviser, I am qualified to assist you in all matters related to ruling our civilization. (Mark) Oh~ Oh! (Female narrator) I am at your service. (Mark) Oh! *Laugh* Oh! You think I don’t know how to play? The answer is probably that I do not but I’m not going to pay any attention to you I’m new to this one Well I ain’t much for being picky; how about we settle right on here… Do the found a city thing. Hell yeah! Oh no, we can’t see Alright so we got warriors, we got Washington, nothing being produced. We need to do something about that. I- *sing-songish* am gonna do a thing. *Sighs* Oh man. Man, Teddy Roosevelt ain’t no… He ain’t no astrologer! He’s animal husbandry — Oh, 100%! That’s so Teddy! Oh hell yeah! Alright, we’re doin’ that.. Code of Laws… I dunno… Do we have any laws? Are we in total anarchy here? Is everything gonna die horribly?? The answer is yes, except for us. We’re gonna survive! ‘Cuz nothing can kill the bull moose president! Alright, what’re we doin’? *singing* Arriiwe need to build a Monument to mah Greatness! But we do need a builder – ah, we don’t have a builder. Maybe we can get a builder. Nah! You know what?! I know I’m great! I know I’m amazing! I know everything about that, but other people don’t know how great I am! I need to build a monument and that’s gonna be the -first- thing that we build because I’m amazing and everyone should know about it! Alright, you… Dickhole McDooger, You go over there. Oh, yes. Oh, yesss! What’d you find? You found water and a bullshit frozen plain! Good job! and rice fields. Cool! And COWS!! We’re gonna get Animal Husbandry and we’re gonna get on over there. Alright, anyway. Next turn! We’re done here. We did it. We good. Who else is here? Someone scattering around in the darkness by the krakens? and the… whatever the hell that is? and the… that thing? Nothin’ over here. *quietly* except more horrors… Alright. I guess go this way. Oh no, did I just?.. Ohh, it’s a peninsula. Ahhh, I went the wrong way ’cause I’m an idiot. Oh, wait. There’s jade over there! Holy shit, there’s a lot of resources over here. Seems like…seems like Washington was founded in in – in East Asia and I’m not sure why or how, but I’m okay with it! *Bobbidee-boop* Well, I guess we can go back! There’s nothing over there… :/ *Mark Noises* Hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da! *meekly* Charge! We got nothin’ to do for a long time so ya just gotta keep marchin’, ya dick! What’s over here? Ohh, that’s more like it. *gasp* A town to ransack?! Hell yes! >:D Wait, what’d that say? “The appeal is Breathtaking!” Hell yeah! *aesthetic* Oh, I want that! Oh, we’re gonna make a city there! Oh, Hell yes we are! Alright.. we’re gonna go ‘visit’ you. Don’t mind our axes and our maces! *roll to Bluff* They’re Friendliness Axes! we’re gonna have a great… Why am I?… Yeah, why am I doing this? You guys have been like: “Hey, you don’t know how to play!” >:( The answer is ‘Yes, I do not.’ 😀 Hello! (Female Narrator) Reconnaissance units like Scouts are unique in that they can – -gain experience by exploring and discovering parts of the world.
*Happy l’il Marky dance* That’s Nice! Is that new to Civ VI? ‘Cuz I can’t quite remember. My brother is a much bigger fan of this game than I am. But, it’s cool though because it’s just like… You know… me and my own! It’s my thing! and I’m this! and everyone else can go die>:D! Anyway, we got Animal Husbandry, so we got …er, we’re -gonna- have Animal Husbandry and we’ll get that. But now we’re apparently got a Scout So where you gon’ go? You go venture this way… Go over dere — ish. Good job! +sees unprotected village to ransack again+ *tiny gasp* Another town… Okay, cancel your previous orders and do this thing. K, how do I cancel previous orders? I think I got it. Alright. So, you’re gonna go… “Your knowledge of Masonry…” “Hidden Technical Secret!” Yay! We killed them, and stole their knowledge! 😀 As Teddy would’ve wanted. Oh, I love it. I love the ambiance of it. I love the patience of it. I love — like, I don’t have the patience to play really long games but it’s something about — like it’s so appealing just to have a game… and it be this thing where you just sit and you enjoy the environment and let it play out around you. Isn’t that right, Teddy? *History Time!* Theodore Roosevelt was very big into preserving the natural resources of America. You can thank a lot of the parks that we have here in America — North America… the United States of America… whatever you wanna call it, to Teddy Roosevelt, who was very big into all that stuff. He loved nature and that’s why he was such a fuckin’ BADASS! >:D Because he was a Badass! That’s all he was! He wrestled bears. He ate ROCKS. He was super — super hardcore like that… I can’t remember if he was in Civ V I don’t think so. Alright, anyway. We’re done here! Er’rebodies done. Have a good time bein’ done. Alright what’re we doin?.. *surprised gasp* Who the fuck are you? You wanna, You wanna, You wanna, You WANNA You Wanna TUSSLE? Huh? Buddy Boo? Hey? Who’re you?! H-How’re you doin’? Nice, on that Charming Grassland. Mine’s, y’know, just -Average 🙁 You got the Charming one, I don’t know why… I don- I don’t wanna attack ya. Says “Major Victory”… I mean, who is that? Is that anybody? Ahh, I’ll kill ’em!! *dogs barking* Take some of this! Yeah, keep the dogs out of this. This is just between you and me. Oh gosh… Well, that didn’t…work. That didn’t do nuthin’ :/ *weird sick noise* Alright, where we goin’ here? ♪ I don’t know what we got! I don’t know what we got! ♪ ♪ Our Monument is not built yet ♪ 🙁 ♪ I don’t know what we got. ♪ That must be Barbarians. Yeah, that is Barba–Hey, you stay out mah city! (Female Narrator) Enacting new policies in our government can be of great benefit. Oooh! (Narrator) Our people await your decree. Sure, how do I do that? Aughhh, shit! (Sean Bean’ing) I am fond of pigs. (SB) Dogs look up to us. (SB) Cats look down on us. (SB) Pigs treat us as equals. (Mark) Well, THAT’S an interesting slogan… Why not a slogan from Tweddy? *Mean Sean Bean Machine* It is not wisdom, but authority, that makes a law. Nice! Thanks, Sean Bean! Again, your voice is soothing. Alright, so we need… to change policies. What shall we do? Discipline…mmmbbrrrr… the Best?! ‘Defense is beatin’ the Shit out of everybody around you! (Teddy approves) Okay, we need — oh, God King! I could be a Gawd King! (of the Squirrels) Amongst mere mortals, Gawd Markiplier! God of the Squirrels! (Oh he made the joke too) GOD of Five Nights At Fredd –Nah, that sounds terrible. I’ll try Urban Planning ’cause that sounds better and I need to produce things. Yeah, we’re good! Except we got…y’know… Frickin’ Barbarians over here. :/ Can you beat the shit out of ’em already? Hit ’em harder! Hit ’em! Gawd, use something more than a stick! Well, I’m not gonna be able to get back with these guys so… Oh well. Oh hi! Howzit goin’? 😀 Heeey! (I’m gonna kill ya for your knowledge!) Oh, that’s a charming wooden grassland with a river. I’m gonna take that, kill you… (told ya) steal all of your stuff — you won’t remember it ’cause you’re dead — and then take your city for my own and maybe even Found a City there because I am just that cool. Alright, fine. We need to research something else. *Ahh, ba-be-da-ba-bo-ba-ba-ba-ba* Oooh! We could get the Roughriders! Ohh, we love horseback riding! Ahh, it’s so good! Not very useful…in the long run… but nah, I want horses! I want horsies! 😀 Oh, Civic? Ooohh.. Foreign Trade… Crafts-Man-Ship *ba-ba-be-bo-ba-bo-ba* Trade routes! We need those. We need a lotta those. Alright, we’re done ‘ere! Everybody done? We’re good? Everybody good? Y’all good? Alright — yeah, you’d better stay away! I-I’m still gonna… Beat the Shit outta you! D::/ Okay so attacking from this position is not good… but if I’m gonna die I could die from a Breathtaking(5) vista! I mean, that sounds pretty good. ‘River Defense’ Oh yeah, that’s what it is. ‘Cause they’re – they’re defending from the river. So if I’m there… So if-if I cross the river first and then attack I’d have a better advantage but I’d take a hit before I get there. Ohh, it don’t look good! :/ I’ll take the hit. I think I can hit them too. If they do attack me. I don’t know if they will. Alright, I’mma do this ’cause this seems like the better option. Alright, you go, buddy! Oh, you found Crab! U like Craff (Crab)? I like Craff. :T Okay. ‘Major Victory’ Well, let’s see about that! Habooski! Haba – bam, bim, bam! Yeah, even though we look like the Barbarians here with our, y’know… sw..kilts… and stone weapons… and looking like Barbarians and you guys look rather Civilized and broad chested. But, y’know, I-I’m gonna assume you’re the bad guy here. We are do — OH, we built a Monument!! Ahh, yes! The Roosevelt Monument! A bit stout, but still noble! Alright, we need a Settler. I’m gonna take yer shit 😀 ‘cuz ah-wh-from what I see… Oh, it’s only Charming(2). Man, it was Breathtaking(5) over there! >:( Why do I even want your shit? Maybe I’ll just found a city next to you and you can gooooo eat a dick. :T Alright, what’ve we got here? Purchase Tile? *mutters* I don’t have the gold for that I’ve only got 72 gold… ‘Purchase an Item with Gold?’ Oooh. Ahh, I can’t afford those! Alright, we’re buildin’ a Settler. Purchase a tile maybe? 50 gold? I don’t want that! 🙁 I mean, I got enough Food. I mean, the city is obviously growing. If you didn’t know — I’m assuming you all have a base knowledge of Civilization, like you… you establish your base and then it grows based on the tiles around you whether they be Food, Production… This place is awfully good because it does offer more Food but I kinda want that forest because it offers Production which is something that I do need. Two of ’em! ‘Cause I wanna be able to build things faster. I mean eventually as your city expands, it’s going to do this anyway. But if you spend your gold you might get an advantage early on. So I gonna try it. I don’t know if it is gonna be worth it, but I’ll be able to complete this settler a little more quickly. Alright next Y-you like a kraff? Good job on the kraff *weird French accent* Burnanas! WOW! We’re stranded! There is nobody here. We is the fuck’d.. *normal* We gotta get boats to get out? I shouldn’t have picked Rando! Maybe-maybe that’s like a land bridge right over there that is gonna connect me with the other things. Can you still beat da shit out of those guys?! What are you? Tired? FACK YOU!!! Units need orders. I know unit needs orders! Ok you need to go all the way over here, and then you need to beat the shit out of ’em! ARH! I said beat the shit, not fall over and die!! Okay, it’s just one of them left. You’re gonna fall over and die to one of them? HUH!? Oohh shit.. Hello, where the f– Oh you made that.. You BIRTHED that.. Okay. Get ’em! *Ha-blah-huh-ha-bler* I think I missed a turn there like an idiot. MINE NOW!!! This is mineee. Thank you!! Alright. Cool. We learnt how to foreign trade. *smirks* We learnt how to be civil and trade with people after we murdered all of you. (Narrator) I suppose it’s an aspect of trade, I suppose. *thumbs up* The world gets stirred up together. (Mark) Nicee.. I need to find other people to be able to do that ahh.. Naval units!! Ooo we do need naval. I am gonna assume that we are gonna be good about this. We’re gonna get naval stuff. AND I like trading. And we only have one city… so plus one isn’t doing us a whole lot of good. *boink* Haha Hell yeah!!! We’re so set… We’re the greatest! We’re gonna choose a civic. What is that?!? Mysticism? AhHH!! Teddy Roosevelt wants an empire!!! Give me my empire… Give me ALL of my empire… Alright you guys… can you attack that guy..? Can you-are you still, you’re still going, okay. * ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da* C’mon, poochy, we gon’ get it! Discovered a continent? When did we discover a new continent?!? Ohhh, god! Ohh, no We got scoots (scouts) Dat scoot is looking at us very dirty like. Alright, barbos (Barbarians) get back to home base because you need to defend it. Even though you’re very slow. Oh I’m so gonna have a base over there, by all the craff. Oh yeah! Is it charming? Is it charming? Tell me it’s charming Oh, it’s breathtaking! Oh, hell yeah! Oh god, yeah. aw this is only charming. Man if I had just gone one over I would of had that but whatever… it’s fine. Alright you getting back, you getting back BLAH BLAH BLAH! I’M DONE! D-do more turns. Get more quicker. (Random sounds brought to you by Mark) What happened? HEY WE LEVELED UP! Ohh yeah! We had population growth. Hell yeah. HELL yeah. There’s a unit availible for promotion. Really? Ooh! Uhhh buh buh buh buh buh (Markisheep) (mark is still being a sheep) How do I promote you, you (pause) are a little bitch. How do I promote you? Ok, either I’m dumb (no) and I don’t understand this, or I’m not getting it (yes). Which I think… AWWWHHWWW ( mark is interrupted by a cow) WE’RE TRAPPED! Goddamnit. Let me look up. Isn’t there like a help…. Yeah, okay. Oh it wasn’t YOU that was available for the promotion! It was the other guy! Stop stealing all the credit ya dick! Tortoise? Ooh. Yeah, we’re going to Battle Cry. Charge and charge again! Once more unto the breach. Mai friends :3 But we are FUCKED, and also waterlocked until we decide to stop being such a douche So I’m assuming we’re on the southern edge because it looks like we’re on the southern edge of the map (??) You’re a ranger. You’re a rough riding ranger-boo. You know, you ought to make exploration not that there’s much left to explore. But you just go for it. Okay? Ooh hello? Where did you come from? Oh, hey! Where are you all coming from? You being dropped off by a boat somewhere? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Stalemate? Nah, just, you know just run away quickly. You’re a coward you already killed, you don’t want to kill again. You wash your hands clean of all the blood of your enemies>:D I understand. Woah hello! What the fek happened? What the fuuk- Oh god! I was like- I saw the red and I was like holy shit! What the FUCK! Thought we died.. Alright, that’s fine though. Okay. So it’s got recommended spots over here which is kinda where I was thinking of putting it And also over there, which..pretty sure – WAIT. Isn’t this sea fairing too just cause I’m by a river? Isn’t that how that goes? *whispers to himself* I have no idea… But i want that craaaaaaff! OH I WANT ALL THAT CRAAAFF Alright fine! I- I’ll do the guide D:

100 thoughts on “STARTING WITH A BIG STICK | Civilization 6 – Part 1

  1. Im with u mark, fuck ghandi! i remember playing civ 4 with my sister and he was always friendly with her and hated everyone else, i didnt trust him…

  2. i come here becuse my dad siad it was an amazing game and you i have watch a wille and you will tach me in an perfact way

  3. The best thing here is to be a Civ player and see him failing miserably in almost every action ingame, besides that, he puts so many emotion on every thing that I lose myself in every joke he makes, I love it!

  4. I dont know enough about civilization enough to really judge it. But from what i've seen it just seems like Total War without the actual battles

  5. Hey, Teddy helped free the country of Panama, then claimed the deed to the land. Just saying, he's got a list of "not so savory" deeds.

  6. I'm straightening my hair for tomorrow morning because I forgot to bring mousse, so I needed something to watch. 😛
    I love the Civilazation series. I played 1, 2, and 3. My family would play against each other in multiplayer campaigns. This was before we had gaming computers so we were taking turns on one computer lol.
    I never got to see 6. So I'm here. ♡

  7. stratagy was never your strong point, mark……… ive been playing this game ever since it first came out '89 and this one came out around '92. i hated it for longest time because i couldnt make mulitply building lists, then i found the button, i like it much better now. lol.
    but your scout is your scout, thats what he does, he avoids conflict when ever posible but can join in with another military unit. build your military up first and send them out in the begining, a military will give you a +1 in times of conflict and deplomacy, your scout is equil to -1, (dont forget you are building in a time when might was right and thats all that mattered).
    c & c were the first games i learned on, then came that ogre game, same thing, different covering, then early dawn of (fan fair, and trumpets sound) ………..civilization ( I, II, III, IV, ……….) was emerging. i remember playing a bug game and you had build up turrets, and landminds, and your job was to collect up chrystals to harvest into something in order to make money to build your company, lost it after my dad died.

    BUT…… you need about 3 military first then, send out your scout, to check up on things for you. then build up two settlers, and three more miliatary, because then you have two cities to protect so the new city needs to build up three military units to give you enough room for another settlement and one more military, (but that one stays with the settlers til it becomes a city as well . this is really hard to watch, but i'll try anyways……

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