The Reason Ricky Gervais Won’t Have Kids | Ricky Gervais: Humanity

The Reason Ricky Gervais Won’t Have Kids | Ricky Gervais: Humanity


– As a famous person you
sorta read about yourself, gossip and Twitter and everything and one thing kept cropping up, even when I was preparing for this tour, they were saying, “Oh, he’s out of touch. He’s so famous. He’s rich. He’s mega-rich.” I am. (audience laughs) I could have this place
burned down for a laugh. (audience laughs) No, but they say things like, “Oh, he’s an observational comedian. How can he say things that
relate to ordinary scum?” (audience laughs) And I say, “Don’t call ’em scum, all right?” But even the papers, they
try and get around to it. I do interviews and they always wanna say, “Oh, do you always fly first class?” I go, “No, often private.” (audience laughs) The number of times I’ve
answered this question, they say, “Do you know how much a pint of milk is?” It’s meant to make you look out of touch and I don’t know, but that’s irrelevant. (audience laughs) Next time a journalist asks
me that, I’m gonna say, “I don’t know, mate, but here’s a grand. Run and get me one, will ya? (audience laughs) Is that enough?” (audience laughs) Another question that I always get, particularly with the posh papers, the Sundays, they’re
doing a profile piece, and they’re still trying to alienate you and make you look different and they always say things like, “No, you don’t have children.” I say, “No.” They say, “Why don’t you have children?” Which is a really odd
question to ask someone, “Why don’t you have children,” as opposed to asking people, “Why do you have children?” Let’s ask the fat lady in the
leggings why she’s had eight. Shall we? (audience laughs) Oh, nine. That one just fell out. That one didn’t even touch the sides or disturb her cigarette. (audience laughs) “Go and claim for that.” (audience laughs) People say, “Oh, it’s selfish to not have children.” How can it be selfish to not
bring a life into the world that doesn’t exist on any level? It’s not like there’s a long cabinet full of potential ghost fetuses going, “We wanna be born.” (audience laughs) But I’ve thought about it and there’s three reasons
I don’t have children. Three main reasons I don’t have children. I’ll share them with you, three reasons. One, there’s millions. (audience laughs) The world’s overpopulated. No one’s sitting around going, “Oh, Rick’s not having
kids, we’re gonna run out.” (audience laughs) Two, kids are scroungers, aren’t they? From day one, it’s all, “Me, me, me.” Isn’t it? “Feed me, clothe me, pay for my chemotherapy.” (audience laughs) “Not my problem, son. (audience laughs) Luck of the draw, boy, luck of the draw.” (audience laughs) It costs the average household in the west $200,000 to bring up a child
and you don’t see that back. They don’t wanna pay you back. They’re not grateful. They don’t go, “Thanks for having me,” everyday. They’re going, “I didn’t wanna be born.” Even if they get a top
job, which they won’t, (audience laughs) you’ll never see that money back. They’ll just put you in a home and my kid, he’d born into
ridiculous wealth, wouldn’t he? (audience laughs) He’d be a little cunt. (audience laughs and claps) A little Hampstead cunt (audience laughs) running around with all the other fucking little Hampstead cunts, being all Hampstead and cunty. “I’m a little Hampstead cunt.” “Yes, I know.” “These are my little cunty friends.” “Yeah, I know, it’s obvious. I can tell from your
little fucking cunty hat that you’re little Hampstead cunts.” On the one hand, he’d know he was a little
fucking Hampstead cunt. “I’m a little Hampstead cunt.” Yes, we know, everyone knows. We know that, right? On the other hand, he’d know that he could never live up to being as brilliant as his dad, right? (audience laughs) I’d say, “You know, I worked from
nothing and I gave it to you and you’re just a little
useless Hampstead cunt.” That would probably prey
on his little mind a bit, wouldn’t it? 11, 12, he’d be a naughty
boy, run with the wrong crowd, try and get out from
under my shadow, right? Then he’d turn to drugs and at about 30 he’d come home and he’d
overdose on my Afghan rug, 20 grand, that was. (audience laughs) And as he was there, convulsing and throwing
up his fucking lungs, and with his little posh
high-pitched fucking death rattle, (audience laughs) his little fucking dying words, he’d go, “Do you love me now, Daddy?” “No! (audience laughs) I never did, and that’s why
you’re never going to be born, you useless fucking
junkie Hampstead cunt.”

100 thoughts on “The Reason Ricky Gervais Won’t Have Kids | Ricky Gervais: Humanity

  1. I've met blokes like this. Fifty – somethings with abnormal attitudes to a basic human instinct. Trying to justify it with violent humour. Sad.

  2. Usually I respond to questions of why I don't have kids with…"Now why in the world would I do that?"

    Conversation ends.

  3. Funny how Gervais is talking about death all the time (you crash you die, no kids, etc…). Last time was at the Golden Globes during is blue-on-blue speech (cynic bash cynics). All in all another Deathflix worshipper (Lucifer, Walking deads, Dracula, etc…) that became rich thanks to the Devil. Keep loathing, stupids.

  4. Everyone has kids because it’s part of the biological contract. Funny the religious are so into populating when it makes the least sense for them from their perspective.

  5. I'm 38, I've had both friends and family ask why I don't want kids. My answers are
    1: Never dated a woman I saw wanting to have a kid with
    3: I wasn't financially nor responsible enough to have a kid
    4: Because I have the choice not to.

  6. What does it matter whether people have kids or not? Why are people so interested in what others are doing? Mind your own fucking business. Who cares!!!

  7. I totally agree! I never ever saw the point in marriage and children! Been with my girl for 27 years now and fortunately for me she also feels the same way. Kids and marriage are incredibly overrated. Quick let’s follow the sheep,I don’t have my own mind😂😂

  8. Real reason: Selfish, hedonistic white liberal. The fact he roasts even more degenerate liberals doesn't change what he is. But at this point it's a victory for the white biostock when liberals don't breed. When the cancer is in smaller enough percentages perhaps the race can defend itself again instead of being undermined at every turn.

  9. Can’t believe how many people complained about this special…

    People were absolutely outraged at the jokes…

    This is to those people.

    Half way into the special Ricky makes a pretty morbid joke about cot death. My son died of cot death five years ago and I can tell you now it was the worst day of my life. It ruined me as a person and it took years to figure out a way to cope and come to terms with the fact I’d created a life that died in the night by such a random and freak event.

    When Ricky made that joke I didn’t squirm, I didn’t tear up, I didn’t quickly go on Twitter and moan about it. Do you know what I did? I laughed… I laughed fucking hard because the Joke was funny. The (Joke) was just that a fucking joke and I enjoyed every part of his special.

    My boy would rather me laughing out loud about the morbidity of his death than sinking bottles of whiskey trying to erase the pain.

    Have a laugh people, life’s cruel but it’s all worth joking about if it makes it a little less hard.

  10. he has the seeds of antinatalism but he knows it will only be seen as a joke and he uses that.

    little sad that he’s not completely antinatalistic.

    it would be great if someone of great influence turned out to be an antinatalist. but then again they’ll probably just be alienated by everyone.

  11. Why do most people want to have kids?
    Simply because they want to feel as a leader once too!
    Go take a look in the theme parks where children get drilled into submission, because the parents are afraid someone would see their kids making demands at them.

  12. If you never have kids nothing bad can ever happen to them. Having kids is overrated, and the risks men have to face just to bring them into a collapsing world isn't worth it in the end. I'd rather spend my time doing anything else, then trying to please an overrated, over protected, over privileged, indecisive, entitled female, or give her my children. Let me start up the first clown astronaut program, so we can send clowns into space with their crafts, just don't make me do the normie conformie things.

  13. MGTOW monk (celibate) for me, so I won't be having kids anytime soon thank fuck. I'd rather have him/her not exist at all than exist without me and fucked over by their mother and SOYciety. If boys don't have a father they won't know how to be masculine, if girls don't have a father they don't have an observable model of masculinity to witness and want from another man. The system destroys fathers, and if I'm never a father I and my children can never be destroyed. They'll never have to suffer the existence I never asked for.

  14. What disgusting reasoning delivered as humorous parody to the TWISTED paying audience. This man is not funny. 🤮🤮🤮

  15. He definitely should not have had children. It’s interesting that all the famous atheists don’t. I think there is a connection……having children changes people’s perception on the matter.

  16. Having my daughters was the greatest thing in my life and eclipsed everything. Nature is compassionate to adult children like Gervais. You can't grasp it until it happens.

  17. Ricky Gervais is the person who is in every workplace, you know the guy. He's the one who thinks he's funny by taking the micky out of the guy who can't fight back and when this person is confronted he shows him self to be an utter WANKER.

  18. I think Ricky is very funny, but I think he needs to rethink his thoughts on God. He had it right when he was 8…..also he’s a bit of a pig, sorry Ricky, and you should have a kid, it’s a wonderful experience Ricky ❤️

  19. Fuck kids! They are a pain in the ass. Selfish egocentric turds. They are ok when they are just changed, clean clothes, a fresh diaper and smiling. But that lasts ten minutes and then hell starts all over again. Shitting, vomiting, getting sick, doctors, crying, HELL NO!

  20. Dude I love ricky so much because he says the things that everyone thinks and should all do, but they don’t….people continue to have kids when they cant afford them, and those lids turn out to be crap, and tbey treat people like crap, and then they have some kids and those kids do the same crap….only have kids if your financially prepared for it and you WILL spend time and effort on them..

  21. I know why he won't have kids first off. He's an atheist. Secondly, he could never love anything more than he loves himself probably because he is an atheist.

  22. Women who dont want kids for a variety of valid respectable reasons; cant find a decent partner , job instability , bad past. Why the feck are we so good at attracting men who are desperate to breed ? I'm.flattered that some men want their spawn to look like me but I'm a no however much I loved the guy.
    It gets to the point where you just have to take yourself out of the game or act gay that gets homophobia. No win.

  23. Perseverance pays off.. I stuck with this setupit until his punchline and then finally howled with laughter. Hahaha. Word.

  24. i am 39 years old .i m still single and i will probably never have a child. This is my choice too 🤷🏻‍♂️

  25. So the main reason Ricky Gervais won’t have children is because Africans have had too many already. Good thinking. And that’s at the time when European birth rates are already well below replacement.

  26. It's true when we see a lady with 5 or more kids we just feel uneasy and uncomfortable and no one will ever dare say 'why do you have that many' but they quick to say why don't you have any lol

  27. No children will be the end of the world as the world as we know it. There will be no won to take care of him when he is dribbling. I find this men repulsive.

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